How've you been? It's been a while. But surprise, surprise, when I came back from the grocery store today, there you were. Parked in my parking spot. Again. You know the one! It's marked #4 next to the really obnoxious sign about private parking and towing and stuff. Yeah, that one! It's a good spot, I know. I like it a lot. It's worth every penny, too. 5,000 bright and shiny copper pennies a month (in case you were interested in getting one for yourself... ha ha).
So how were your holidays? Because it was the day before Thanksgiving when I last saw you. I remember because on that occasion, I got to carry all my holiday groceries around the block in the rain. Turns out a bag of yams and cranberry sauce will keep pretty well in your trunk.
This is really awkward, but I'm just gonna put this out there... Are you getting my letters? The ones I've been leaving under your windshield wiper? Because I'm starting to get the impression that you might be ignoring me and well, that stings. I put a lot of thought into those notes. One part informative, two parts concern, with just a dash of threat to tow. In the second note, I implored you to go out and commit a random act of kindness to compensate for your lack of courtesy and bring your karma back into balance. No?
I'm afraid the last note I just left does not show as much concern for your conscience, Black Toyota, which I imagine is slightly smaller in size than the quarter that you are unwilling to put in a parking meter.