Monday, January 14, 2008

Hello, Black Four-Door Toyota!

How've you been? It's been a while. But surprise, surprise, when I came back from the grocery store today, there you were. Parked in my parking spot. Again. You know the one! It's marked #4 next to the really obnoxious sign about private parking and towing and stuff. Yeah, that one! It's a good spot, I know. I like it a lot. It's worth every penny, too. 5,000 bright and shiny copper pennies a month (in case you were interested in getting one for yourself... ha ha).

So how were your holidays? Because it was the day before Thanksgiving when I last saw you. I remember because on that occasion, I got to carry all my holiday groceries around the block in the rain. Turns out a bag of yams and cranberry sauce will keep pretty well in your trunk.

This is really awkward, but I'm just gonna put this out there... Are you getting my letters? The ones I've been leaving under your windshield wiper? Because I'm starting to get the impression that you might be ignoring me and well, that stings. I put a lot of thought into those notes. One part informative, two parts concern, with just a dash of threat to tow. In the second note, I implored you to go out and commit a random act of kindness to compensate for your lack of courtesy and bring your karma back into balance. No?

I'm afraid the last note I just left does not show as much concern for your conscience, Black Toyota, which I imagine is slightly smaller in size than the quarter that you are unwilling to put in a parking meter.

12 comments:

Sweetcheese said...

Quite possibly the funniest post ever. Does it bother you that I am secretly hoping Black Toyota will continue to visit you so I can laugh until I snort again? Cuz that's what friends are for.

sheasy said...

Between Black Toyota and the dairy I accidentally consume, this blog ought to be a hit.

Dharma Designs said...

LOVED the humor in this post!

Barbra said...

Have you thought about letting the air out of its tires? Just saying.....!

Caroline said...

Sheasy, your blog is hilarious! You've been bookmarked, and I'll be back. That's not meant to be a threat, but take it as you will!

Contrariwise said...

Frustrating but great fodder for your blog!

Jerdre53 said...

Call the tow truck and keep an eye out for an angry person screaming about their car being stolen. Then go sympathize, all the while feigning ignorance.

sheasy said...

Thanks, Dharma! I LOVE that you loved it.

sheasy said...

Barbra & Jerdre: You guys are gonns get me in troubooooooooo!

Thanks for the ideas!

sheasy said...

Caroline: Thanks for the mark! I have already had requests to print the note I left, so stay tuned.

sheasy said...

Contra: Turning frustration into fodder ought to keep me busy for a while!

Persimmons Gal said...

grrrr bad Toyota. You are funny.