Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dear Fellow Potential Jurors,

*When you share explicit details about your friends and family's dirty laundry, adding it to the public record in the process of avoiding your public duty, you sure do look trustworthy, for sure.
*When you continue to say "coon't" instead of "couldn't", the tips of your fake french manicure simply glimmer.
*When you reach into your purse, how many plastic wrappers are you finding in there? According to my ear, it sounds like a couple hundred. If college lecture halls have taught us nothing, it is that swiftness is key in this situation. In-n-out. And CornNuts? Unforgivable.
*Is "Freaky Friday" the most appropriate movie we could be watching in anticipation of participating in a trial? Disney comedy or not, there is a whole lot of law breaking going on, not to mention La Lohan's arrest record. Just sayin'.
*Hey, a free pen. Oh, lucky day.

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