Friday, April 11, 2008

Swapping Spit with Celebrities

A rundown of a recent dream I had (please feel free to interpret):

I arrive at a small party and a mysterious "good friend" is eager to introduce me to one of the other guests - she's positive we would really hit it off. I am skeptical and not really interested but indulge my "good friend" and she guides me to the backyard. It is dark outside and there sitting on the lawn is an old, yellow roller coaster - not the rails, just the cars of the coaster. In the front car, sits Seth Rogen. The "me" at the party is not aware that this person is in movies, so I am not sure if I am "in" a movie or what. His hygiene seems suspicious, like maybe he is clammy? I sit next to him in the roller coaster car, which is uncomfortable as it is made of a very hard, cold steel. There is a safety bar and we pull it closed onto our laps. There is not much room so while we are having our conversation, we speak not facing each other but looking straight ahead. The conversation is pleasant but not overly impressive. After a while, I excuse myself and return to the party.

A couple hours pass and I am about to leave the party. My "good friend" asks if the guy that looks like Seth Rogen is taking me home and I say, "Sure". We leave. We are walking down the street and when I look over the guy no longer looks like Seth Rogen, but Hugh Jackman. He is wearing a leather jacket with the collar up and staring intently at me. I am very creeped out. He leans in to kiss me and I can't avoid him. He starts kissing me. The kiss is the worst kiss I have ever experienced in a dream or real life. He is getting spit all over my face. He tries to be playful and nibble on my lips but he is actually biting them and it pinches. He stops kissing me and looks at me and grins. He is very satisfied with himself. I am speechless. I wake up.

My first thoughts are of indecision: How do I break the news to my good friend, Jen, that her crush is such a lousy kisser? Will she be mad at me and accuse me of lying? Maybe I shouldn't tell her if I am a true friend, but what if she finds out anyway?

Then I remember that we don't know Hugh Jackman, so I switch gears to I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL JEN THAT HUGE ACK-MAN IS A SLOPPY KISSER!!!

2 comments:

sweetcheese said...

AAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! Poor Jen will be devastated.

robayre said...

I actually have a crush on Seth Rogen. It stems from way back in the Freaks and Geeks days. He was my favorite character with his sarcasm and his love of Tuba Girl. Also, It's awesome that he is in more and more movies now, but sucks because now other people like him too. It's like when I was in high school and had a crush on the shy, angsty, skater boi and then all of a sudden the most popular girl is dating him. What?