Thursday, August 13, 2009

WHINERS!

I continue to receive complaints about the lack of posts on this here space of internet. I don't get it. I was under the impression we broke up months ago. So, yeah... this is awkward.

I'm not quite sure how this happened really. I used the same technique my boyfriend used on me when we broke up in sixth grade. Wherein all communication comes to a complete stop, no one actually verbalizes the break up, and then both parties deny the relationship ever existed if anyone else inquires about it. Success!!

I suppose since some time has passed since I "allegedly" broke up with you, it is time to occasionally nod in your direction. Which is to say, I guess we can still be friends and hang out every once in a while.

Here is the part where I segue way into another topic.

Not too long ago, I received a package from my friend Jen. I was delighted! Joy of joys, a SURPRISE! I had no idea what it was but I knew it was gonna be great. Feast your eyes on my surprise:

Howdy!


This is how he arrived. Naked. With pen on his face. And a random string dangling out of his head. No explanation.

He seems to like Oklahoma but I can tell he is itching to move on to the next place. Who knows where it will end up next? Avoid your mailboxes.

p.s. I am pretty sure my sixth grade boyfriend broke up with me because he was feeling a little insecure and was questioning whether he had anything to offer (THIS IS MY STORY PLEASE DO NOT OFFER RE-INTERPRETATIONS THANK YOU VERY MUCH.) I am just pointing that out because, um, I think it applies? I get your e-mails and they are great. I am amazed that you have stuck around this long because I really don't deserve the attention. You give, I take - and it's rude. I am a rude dude. And rude dudes will ignore you instead of saying I'm sorry so they can avoid feeling all douchey inside for the five minutes it takes to acknowledge said douchey behavior and then move on with their lives. Also, they start working at Denny's in high school and you find out ten years later that they are STILL WORKING THERE.

3 comments:

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

This is why I beg for more posts. You make me laugh.

Moon Mommy said...

I second Andrea's Sweet Life. Just come back, already. Don't make us beg. And that doll looks like a white Barack Obama.

Maura said...

You? Are a tease. A funny tease, but a tease nonetheless. Remember this? "New post coming soon." That just leads us on! :-P

Oh, and I'm so not giving you my address because your little visitor is NOT going to see the inside of my mailbox!