sheasy

I Am Surrounded.

2009-09-05T20:12:00.000-07:00

It was a foggy, misty morning. When I got up this morning, I noticed all the spiderwebs on the balcony were covered in dew. It was pretty.

Cakes! A New Way to Be Passive Aggressive.

2009-08-24T17:12:00.000-07:00

We need more cake. There is never enough cake. Life passes us by, things are changing in the world and not enough of it is commemorated with cake.

Problem: solved. Here is a site that allows you to digitally decorate a cake and send it via e-mail. For example, I just "baked" this cake and it is right now sitting in someone's inbox ready to be "eaten":

Can we abuse this? I think so. Did your mom forget your cat's birthday? Did no one in your office even notice you got bangs? Send me an e-mail and I will "bake" you a cake. No event? No issue there. I will make one up. Or if you are moved to do so, bake ME a freaking cake. Either way, let's share some sugar: sheiladilling (at) yahoo (dot) com.

All kinds of credit: (I found this via @Flounce on twitter. Here is her cake. And it looks like SHE found this via Cake Wrecks, which is the most disturbingly hysterical blog about eff-ed up cakes on the internet AND THE UNIVERSE. If you have never seen it, please please PLEASE click on it and behold the most hideous piles of sugar and goo you have ever seen. Oh, and follow @Flounce - she's a funny lady.)

Lazy People Food

2009-08-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

I got home at 8:49 this evening. By 8:55, I had cooked myself some grub and was heartily scarfing it down. I do not own a microwave. So I had to actually cook and assemble ingredients and not just beep-boop-beep-beep myself some dinner.

I used a recipe I found a couple years ago when I went on an I'm-gonna-cook-breakfast-everyday-before-work kick, which lasted about three days before I went back to eating instant oatmeal. But the recipe was so easy and tasty, I kept making it. In fact, I abused it. It was black and blue. But I didn't care because another good thing about this recipe is that it uses stuff that is usually already in the pantry or fridge. So, YAY, for people like me who hate/forget to buy groceries. Oh, and it's fairly healthy at least compared to what you would zap. It's a really quick huevos rancheros variation that I found either from Martha Stewart's Everyday Food mag or Smitten Kitchen. Heck, let's give them both credit - good job, guys! You are making lazy people like me even lazier.

Materials-wise you will need: saucepan, frying pan (a little one is best), spatula.
Grocery-wise all you need is: a corn tortilla, cheese, an egg, black beans, salsa.
- Turn two burners to medium heat.
- Pour can of black beans in a saucepan.
- Stir a tablespoon of salsa into the black beans (or season w/hot sauce if you prefer)
- Spray pan with non-stick spray.
- Lay corn tortilla in pan.
- Once tortilla becomes a little crispy, flip tortilla.
- Sprinkle cheese on tortilla.
- Crack egg over cheese on tortilla.
- Egg will run to the edges of the tortilla. Once set on the edges, flip the whole thing over.
- Cook until set.
- Put tortilla on a plate. Add beans. Garnish with more salsa. Eat.

What I enjoy about this recipe is that sometimes I may have avocado, or corn salsa, or sour cream or fresh cilantro in the fridge and it is easy to mix it up. I also use the same exact ingredients to make egg white tacos (heat corn tortillas separately, add tbsp of water to egg whites, cook in pan, then assemble taco style).

However you choose to mix it up, don't even think about wasting those last four beans left on the plate (unless you are afraid of chihuahua farts - THIS VIDEO DOES NOT CONTAIN ANY EXPLICIT DEPICTIONS OF CHIHUAHUA FARTS):

Buttons. Protected by Space Tigers.

2009-08-16T15:27:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, my sister and I would spend hours sifting through my mom's tin of buttons. First we would sort them by size, then by color, then we'd each pick out our favorites and make little button families out of them. Each button had it's own personality (that enormous burnt-orange jagged one was SO MEAN.)

For my birthday this year, my sister gave me a tin of vintage buttons. She knows me well - it was the perfect gift. It brought back a lot of memories of me as a kid, sticking my whole hand in the tin and slowly letting the buttons roll over my fingers. I don't think I am alone in this memory, as promptly after I opened the tin, everyone else in the room did that exact thing. So these buttons have been fondled. Heavily. By multiple persons.

Here is a sample of some of the goodies. (Since I was given these, some of my own trinkets have made their way into the mix: an Obama button, the Ernie pendant, a pumpkin earring - but the rest are all bonafide crusty old buttons).

Inexplicably, everyone who has a button collection is required to store them in a Danish butter cookie tin. These particular buttons came in a lovely Christmas tin of their own with a very pleasant looking young lady on the front. I started my own button tin in high school and I am not overstating this when I say, my tin is probably the coolest, most awesomest button tin that ever was. It has tiger cubs on the front. And they are in space. Behold:

Yes, they are standing on the Earth. And, yes, that is a moonscape in the background. And, yes, the orange kitteh has a bigger head than the white kitteh. The only thing that could make this better is if they were sharing a single glass of Tang with two bendy straws sticking out of the glass.

OR... if there was a sexy kitteh using the Earth as a pillow. Or a mommy kitteh holding a baby kitteh holding the Earth. Or if one of the kittehs posed like Jesus.

(Click pictures for better detail)

Getting to Know: the Naked Man Living with Me

2009-08-14T18:40:00.000-07:00

I am a bad hostess. If you paid me a visit, I probably wouldn't offer you a beverage. You would stand there, slowly wasting away into a cotton ball with your lips growing increasingly cracked and then right before your eyes roll back into your head, I will realize you might be thirsty. And as I ask you if you want a drink I will be thinking, "Do I even HAVE anything to drink?" Because your options will most likely be water or some form of alcohol. I am the type of hostess who gives large quantities of booze to the severely dehydrated. After I make them dehydrated.

This might explain why when I had the unexpected guest arrive several months ago in the mail (see previous post), not only did I not offer him a drink, I didn't even ask him his name. He's been sleeping on my desk amongst last year's Christmas cards. A couple of times I used him as a paperweight. But it was just those two times. I swear.

So, I have decided it would be the "hospitable" thing to do to get to know him better. And to gather as much information about him as possible to send with him to his next destination. Except he's not talking. Probably because his lips are plastic and fused together.

That is where I need your help, creative peoples! Tell me about my naked roommate. Things like:
* Name
* Origins
* Childhood Ambitions
* Favorite Pizza Toppings
* How the string coming out of his head came to be
* How he became a nudist
* Where he got his face tattoo
* Anything else your brain can fancy

Send your ideas to sheiladilling (at) yahoo (dot) com.

Using the information you send me, I will put together a variety of accessories, a "Naked Man Kit" so to speak. I'll take pics of everything and post them here.

With any luck, when he arrives at the next person's door there will be no awkwardness, only love. And possibly beverages.

WHINERS!

2009-08-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

I continue to receive complaints about the lack of posts on this here space of internet. I don't get it. I was under the impression we broke up months ago. So, yeah... this is awkward.

I'm not quite sure how this happened really. I used the same technique my boyfriend used on me when we broke up in sixth grade. Wherein all communication comes to a complete stop, no one actually verbalizes the break up, and then both parties deny the relationship ever existed if anyone else inquires about it. Success!!

I suppose since some time has passed since I "allegedly" broke up with you, it is time to occasionally nod in your direction. Which is to say, I guess we can still be friends and hang out every once in a while.

Here is the part where I segue way into another topic.

Not too long ago, I received a package from my friend Jen. I was delighted! Joy of joys, a SURPRISE! I had no idea what it was but I knew it was gonna be great. Feast your eyes on my surprise:

This is how he arrived. Naked. With pen on his face. And a random string dangling out of his head. No explanation.

He seems to like Oklahoma but I can tell he is itching to move on to the next place. Who knows where it will end up next? Avoid your mailboxes.

p.s. I am pretty sure my sixth grade boyfriend broke up with me because he was feeling a little insecure and was questioning whether he had anything to offer (THIS IS MY STORY PLEASE DO NOT OFFER RE-INTERPRETATIONS THANK YOU VERY MUCH.) I am just pointing that out because, um, I think it applies? I get your e-mails and they are great. I am amazed that you have stuck around this long because I really don't deserve the attention. You give, I take - and it's rude. I am a rude dude. And rude dudes will ignore you instead of saying I'm sorry so they can avoid feeling all douchey inside for the five minutes it takes to acknowledge said douchey behavior and then move on with their lives. Also, they start working at Denny's in high school and you find out ten years later that they are STILL WORKING THERE.

Apologies.

2009-06-30T20:01:00.001-07:00

You are cordially invited, originally uploaded by cgines.

New post coming soon.

Hope you are all finding lots of lovely in your day.

High-Five!!!

2009-02-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I made stuff. See:

I was three when this was made. I am pretty sure my dad may have assisted me with this, but let's not give him too much credit, okay?

Last year, I was lucky enough to participate in the CreateADay project. It started as a group of strangers with a new year's resolution to make something every day. Very quickly, bonds were formed and the group became an inspirational give and take. The most recent version of this project is EverydayCreate. I am embarassed to admit, I just submitted my first post this year. Yikes. It involves humiliating the dog and I am very proud to say, my dad didn't help me with it one bit.

Art-O-Matic

2009-02-26T06:17:00.000-08:00

Here is something that will get you thinking you are wasting your life away trying to decipher LOST and dressing your dog up like Big Gay Al.

Robayre has made a video! She's also painted a series of miniature canvases featured in the video. And amazingly enough, the paintings are based on miniature collages she created (which you can see more of here and here). Check it out:

If you go to the Art-O-Mat sight they will tell you if you have one in your town. Sacramento people can go to the good ole Crocker Museum (see tangent below). And it looks like Oklahoma has one, so I am thinking I will investigate this over the weekend and perhaps bring a crowbar to "inspect" the machine for any Robayre originals.

***The Crocker is FREE on Sundays before noon. So let's say maybe you had too much wine Saturday night and maybe you only live several blocks away from the Crocker and maybe you only got a few bucks in your pocket and maybe you are thinking it is best if you just stay in bed. Don't do it! Call a friend, get thee to the coffee shop, get a hot beverage of your choice and walk to the museum. This is not just a great hangover cure, but is also the outline for one of my favorite Sundays ever.

I'll sing these songs in a box with a fox or in a house with a mouse

2009-02-02T21:38:00.001-08:00

On a road trip, my ex-boyfriend asks me not so delicately to please STOP singing along with the radio. At the time, I find this confusing. What does a sense of pitch or melody or tone have to do with a passionate delivery of lyrics that really speak to you? Shouldn't he recognize that I am carefree and full of joie de vivre and find me endearing for it? I have since heard myself sing and must say that no amount of performance ability can protect human ears from the noise I can create when I am "feeling it". My bad, dude. But you never did get me anyway. The song that I couldn't keep myself from singing that weekend was Ben Harper's "Save Tonight". Whenever it comes on the radio, I crank it up. "Tomorrow I'll be gone......."

Letterbox by They Might Be Giants

This song is super short, but you have to sing it really fast. "And I'll never never know, what you never never never want to know, when you know

What you are, oooooooooooooo."

Laid by James

This song is drrrty with lots of smarty pants lyrics. Saw these guys in concert, so I feel like I have a little bit of hands on experience on the delivery.

Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J

Rap songs are a bad singers best friend! They are usually fairly monotone or often use funny voices. I would also sing almost anything from Cypress Hill or Beastie Boys.

Plinky. Hope it's not Stinky.

2009-02-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

A friend invited me to join Plinky, so I did. I am still not sure exactly what Plinky is or how it works, but it looks like a great tool for someone like me who has gotten out of the habit of blogging.

Every day, a different topic is presented and you write a little blurb about it. And apparently you can publish the blurb to your blog or Twitter or Facebook from Plinky. And apparently they will add some funky clip art to the blurb for you. And apparently you follow other Plinky people and they follow you. Actually, none of this is very apparent to me at the moment. But I am going to give it a shot, so if you see some posts that just look like a bunch of jibber-jabber, than that is what is happening. That or my chimpanzee roommate has clubbed me in the head and taken over sheasytime (he is extremely shifty that one).

I'm eager to see what clip art they randomly select to accompany my blurbs. Cheesy clip art is a guilty pleasure, so my expectation is that it will elevate my blurbs to true greatness. The other plus: you guys will get a break from pictures of my dog. Ha ha.... just kidding! Doggy post coming soon!!

On the left, you might notice that I am on Twitter and I have it all synced up to Facebook. If you find me on either of those, add me as your friend or follower or stalker or whatevs.

I must be honest and say I am really only interested in "friends" who have "follower"-like personalities. My ultimate goal is to surround myself with people I can easily sway to do my bidding. So, go: add me to all of your apps and then give me all of your Jolly Ranchers.

Told-Ya-So Dance

2009-01-21T20:38:00.000-08:00

I took this picture on February 8th, 2008 (almost a year ago--sheesh!) on my way home from work:

At the time, the other Democrat was way ahead in the race for the nomination.

I was ruffling through my purse for the camera, steering with my knees, trying to concoct an endearing anecdote to share with this guy in the event I turned his bumper into the shape of a fortune cookie, all the while I kept thinking to myself, "This guy, driving right in front of me, is gonna make it happen."

And he did! Of course, he didn't do it by himself. But Mr. Honda Accord stood in line at the DMV and ordered a personalized plate with the name of the trailing Democratic nominee on it, knowing his registration would not be up until May of 2009. He believed it could be so at a time when many of us were still swelling up with inspiration and hoping it could be a possibility. This guy believed it and when I saw this license plate, I believed it, too.

So, thank you, Mr. Honda Accord. You've earned yourself a free car wash and big hug from the rest of the planet.

Pilates for Your Pointy Finger

2009-01-05T20:03:00.000-08:00

Recently, I got severely inebriated only to discover the next day I could not find my cell phone. To reward myself for achieving such an extreme level of drunkenness, I went straight to my local wireless store and bought me a brand spanking new phone. Now it turns out my old phone wasn't lost, it was simply misplaced. However, I had my little hungover heart set on getting a new phone so that is where the story begins.

I had no idea what type of phone I wanted, but the kind, young sales gal showed me one that had a touch screen and came with a rebate and blah, blah, blah, sales pitch, blah, blah, blah: SOLD. Let's just get this over with so I can go home and sweat out these cocktails.

I love my new phone. It is awesome in so many ways. I have been sending a steadily increasing number of pointless text messages much to the horror of family and friends who could care less that I just got my car washed or that I can't find a pair of matching socks.

I want to make it abundantly clear just how much I adore my phone before I mention this next item for those of you considering buying a touch phone. You should ask yourself a question and be very, very honest with yourself. Do you have, ahem, "physically fit" fingers? Because up until now, I've always considered my fingers to fall within the national standard for normal size digits. Tapping away on my new phone, I feel a bit as if I have Chewbacca mitts. I'm not sure if Wookies have fingers or paws, but Chewie seems far more savvy at flying the Millenium Falcon than I am at checking my voicemail.

So the previously mentioned pointless texts aren't just dull and drab, they are often nonsensical and riddled with typos. Not to mention making sure that I send the text to the right person. I sent a text to my friend Michelle about Battlestar Galactica only to get a response from Michael reminding me that I am an uber-nerd. Nice.

Even better are the times I get a little tap-happy while deleting messages and I end up dialing that person on accident. So I hang up. Twice. Or three times. Leading to the inevitable incoming call from that party asking me why I am a being a jerkface. To which I can only reply, "God made me this way."

I love my phone and I have banana hands. Deal with it.

New 'Do

2009-01-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

Got my hair cut today. Behold, the awesome pony wallpaper in the background.

Because It's Purty

2009-01-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

Last year, I made it well into March before the urge to take down the Christmas tree hit me. This year I have decided it will stay at least through January or until I receive an official letter of complaint from the Easter Bunny.

Also, after some encouragement from some of may favorite bloggie friends, I've decided to again participate NaBloPoMo this month. 31 posts in 31 days! Here goes.

It Also Keeps Your Cheese Safe

2009-01-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

Today a friend told me my Christmas card picture has made it onto her fridge. Oh, joy of joys, she has no idea that she has just made my day.

I have used the front of my fridge as something of an inspiration board ever since college. Many of the items have travelled from one crappy apartment to the next, reminding me to smile all while guarding the precious vodka.

The oldest item is a gingerbread self-portrait I painted of me wearing a Beastie Boys T-Shirt and ADIDAS shoes that you will still catch me wearing just about every Sunday.

Here is a glimpse:

So glad to be part of your day, even if it is just the moments before you grab the milk or realize you are better off ordering a pizza.

My Suitcase Heart

2009-01-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

My first order of business for 2009 was to make sure the chihuahua-terrier got some quality time outside. Lucky for the both of us, we woke up to a clear blue sky this morning. Thanks for your cooperation, Mr. Sunshine! Yet, not even my favoritest-stolen-ex-boyfriend-hooded-sweatshirt layered with two T-shirts and a heavily padded bra could protect me from being slapped around by the icy wind. And after throwing the ball and retrieving it myself twice while the chihuahua-terrier stared at me in disbelief before she scurried up the stairs, I followed suit. A complete retreat.

This is one of the things I still have not gotten used to living in Oklahoma. The sun shines so bright making your heart go pitter-pat with the anticipation of just a smattering of warmth on your cheeks. It beckons you outside only to deliver a swift head butt. I have fallen for this again and again and will probably continue to do so. The sunshine and me, we used to be friends and I know we will be again someday. As for the wind, he can suck it.

Since Plan A was derailed, I put iTunes on Party Shuffle and got busy. I was scurrying around pretending to do chores, when a song I had heard many times before SPOKE to me. This is quite the bizarre feeling, like maybe my iPod has been reading my mail or hacking into my text messages or simply WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE. Nonetheless, after listening to it, I thought, "Wow, that is exactly me, right now, at this moment, and everything I hope to get out of the next year." Which is saying a lot because I don't think I even know what that is other than that it sounds a lot like "Slow Pony Home" from The Weepies.

I'm going to post a link to it here instead of doing a re-cap of the last year and what I expect from the new year. It really is the ham in my 08-09 sandwich.

Also, do not fret over doggy's sun time. The wind eventually died down by the afternoon and until then, she made do:

Merry Christmas to ALL!

2008-12-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

Butternutty

2008-11-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

A recipe for butternut bisque caught my eye in this month's Thanksgiving issue of Everyday Food. I made it - it was incredibly simple and absolutely delicious. It was the first meal I cooked in my new place and by cooked I mean, it required more than taking something out of the package and scarfing it down.

I will say this: the most labor intensive part is peeling and dicing the squash, but then you will be home free.

Perhaps, maybe you are from Oklahoma and do not know what the heck a butternut squash is and why in the world you would ever want to eat one. That is somewhat the reaction I got from the folks at my local grocery store when trying to locate my main ingredient. After holding my ground that a cantaloupe would not make a suitable substitute, the butternut was located under a mountain of yams. Of course, that did not keep the checkout girl from asking if it was that "mexican-potato-thing-that-starts-with-a-J". I am thinking she means jicama, but maybe it is I that is out of the loop on that one.

Here's how it turned out:

Some Girls Like to Potty All the Time

2008-11-11T18:49:00.000-08:00

My new (old) bathroom has a theme. A western theme complete with horses. Here is the wallpaper:

And the brass hardware and insanely high ceiling (I DO live in a barn, you know):

So, firstly, the wallpaper will come down. The next step is paint. I am leaning toward a pale blue-ish grey, but would love to hear any ideas on how I came make the most of the awesome height I have in here. Oh, and the brass is pretty much everywhere, so yeah it also needs to be addressed in some way.

Ideas??????

Delightfully Free

2008-11-02T16:30:00.000-08:00

I went to a great craft fair last year with a friend and brought home lots of loot. As I rummaged through my jewelry box, I found these earrings:

And now after ignoring them for a year, they are my new favorites. Thanks, whoever you were who gave away free earrings!! I love these - it just took me a year to notice.

A little of this and that...

2008-10-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

First: Please vote. I am utilizing the handy-dandy absentee ballot this year, which came in SO helpful as I am barely remembering to put gas in my car these days (by the way, gas here in OK is $1.99/gallon - for a split-second this morning, I suspected it might just be Pepsi I was putting in my tank, but hey, if caffeine can power the people of the nation, why not my Saturn VUE?) So, checkmark, all done with that.

I did get these buttons in the mail today that I received as a thank you for a small donation:

I love this retro style of campaign button. These buttons are something I will come across in 20 years or so and remember back on what an amazing election year this has been. So, however, you feel about who should be the next president, I hope you are as energized as I am about the future of our country.

OK, that was supposed to be short. Oh, well. I haven't been blogging so I guess it makes sense if I go on and on and waste a whole additional sentence on how I am going on and on. And now I have Journey stuck in my head. It "goes ooon and ooon and ooon and ooooooon". (This is the part where my friend Jen and I start jumping up and down and screaming our heads off. So, now I am singing and smiling and remembering to never wear high heel boots to see a Journey cover band because you will end up walking home in your socks and your friend will never let you forget about it because she is that type of friend***.)

I bought something new for my apartment:

I got this little mirror at a tiny, out-of-the-way shop I found called Target. Maybe you've heard of it? It's the first thing I have bought for my new place and it is the only thing that is hanging up, so far. It makes me very, very happy.

GRATUITOUS PUPPY SHOT!!!

I got to hang out with this puppy all weekend long. Her name is Bella, she is a bulldog and she is 3 months old and this picture does her rolls of chub absolutely no justice. We have already decided to be BFFs and we will ONLY marry boys that are also BFFs and we'll live next door always and of course, name our first borns after each other. I am making her a friendship bracelet out of bacon and she is making one for me out of drool.

I also finally got to go to one of my favorite places that I have missed for so long while living in California:

The infamous Cracker Barrel. I had a boyfriend who lived in Tennessee and these are at every exit in that state. Delicious sweet tea, country gravy and biscuits, and a delightful concoction called hashbrown casserole. They also have a country gift shop and checkerboards everywhere, so you can play while you wait (in addition to the little triangle-tee game at your table). The best part is the delightfully creepy artwork though:

This place is covered in portraits of babies and dogs hanging out. I wanted one of these so bad, but even with my big ole purse, didn't think I could swing it. Time to find the local thrift shops.....

In the last post, I mentioned my first project in the new place. I am eager to get some ideas. A hint: it's my bathroom. That is not really a hint, but what I am trying to say is, there is a whole other level to this project. So be thinking: cool, lofty, powder room thoughts. I'll be posting pics soon and then maybe we can ride this wave of inspiration into a new jacuzi tub for me (not really in the budget - sad to say).

(***If you were wondering: Jen wore the boots that had to be thrown away and I am the friend who every once in a while says, "Remember that time we saw Wonderbread 5? And we jumped up and down all night and you were wearing new boots? And you threw them in the trash can right there? And the parking lot was all gravel? And your feet already hurt from the shoes? And we went to Mel's Diner afterwards because we were so hungry? And we were worried they would notice you were only wearing socks? And then we looked for a "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" sign? And we were afraid they would kick us out like we were at a 7-11? But they didn't and then we ordered pancakes?" Jen's usual response: "Yes". So that is the kind of friend I am.... the best kind.)

Home Sweet Home

2008-10-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

My new digs are great. I am living in a furnished apartment above a barn (how Oklahoma is that?) I had not seen the apartment beforehand, but had already decided that no matter what, I would make it work. Here is what I saw:

That's right.... I have a deck! I huge deck big enough for tables and chairs and a nice bottle of wine or two. Every day since I have been here, I have been in awe of how big the sky feels. Here is a little taste of my evening view:

**Front (I cropped out the main house)**

**To the left: the pond (and the stairs)**

**To the right, the lane to the main road**

The entire front of the apartment is windows. So at night when the moon is full, I turn out the lights and the whole place fills up with an amazing purple light. Sweet dreams for me.

Next post: some of the inside. I have a project I want to tackle and I would love to get some advice.

YAY for Stuff!

2008-10-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

My stuff is arriving tomorrow afternoon..... Wahoo!!!!!!

While my family have been wonderful hosts, it will be fantastic to sleep in my own bed, eat off my own dishes, and get back to being a crafty little devil. At last, "moving" will become "moved". It's been fun, but exhausting.

A-OK!

2008-10-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hello! I have been in Oklahoma for over a week now - apologies for the lack of posts. I'll be getting settled into my new place (fingers crossed) by Sunday.

I have SO many things to share, but am just uloading photos from the road. I will be doing posts on some of these in the future, but for now, enjoy!

On the Road....

2008-09-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

Oklahoma, here we come!!

Neverending Story

2008-09-28T20:04:00.000-07:00

If you've seen this movie, then you know that Clyde looks like he is part luck dragon in this picture.

This picture was taken by my beautiful sister in my parent's backyard on my very last day in California. We hit the road before sunrise tomorrow morning!

Where's my cracker?

2008-09-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

This bird-head doodle was found at the bottom of the recycling bin under my desk at work (my former work... yahooie). I didn't draw this, but whoever the artist is, they decided a few things:
1.) This doodle must leave their sight immediately.
2.) This doodle COULD NOT reasonably be discarded at the artist's desk.
3.) This doodle ought to be recycled (obviously earth conscious).
4.) This doodle would go unnoticed if it were put in MY recycle bin.

Think again, sucka!!! Operation Frame Sheasy: EPIC FAIL

Karma $$$

2008-09-23T20:24:00.000-07:00

I got this in my change the other day:

I regretted spending it, but DANG, I was hungry. I figured it was best to put it back out into the world to brighten someone else's day.

****As the amount of time I have left in California winds down, I will be doing more photo posts as often as I can. I have a handful of pics I've been wanting to build entire posts around..... but when it comes down to it, they speak for themselves. Stay tuned!*****

Seen downtown recenty

2008-09-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

Spicy: A Tale of Love and Hate

2008-09-18T17:32:00.000-07:00

I was inspired to write two poems today. Below:

Hot Tamales

you are so red
and chewy
you make my mouth burn
I think it's possible
that I love you

like Jen once said,
you make me drool
but in a good way
not at all like
a loss of motor skills way

let's always be friends, k?

Buffalo Wings

so many times
I've tried to love you
every time
you leave me stinging

there's never enough
celery
or bleu cheese
or napkins
to cover the pain
that remains

and now my fingernails are orange

never again

Don't Hassle the Hoff

2008-09-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

I sent a mass e-mail out to my co-workers letting them know that I would be leaving and that I would miss them all. A copy is below:

To: Fellow Co-Workers
From: Sheila Dilling
Subject: I am HOFF to Oklahoma!

Hey there, co-workers of mine! Guess what?
I am moving to Oklahoma ! Shocking news, yes?

My last day at *Anonymous Company* will be September 24th. I have been offered a remarkable opportunity and I couldn’t pass it up. I gave it a lot of thought…

… and decided it was time…

… for a change.

I’ll be starting a whole new adventure and I am very excited.

It is in a different industry and will give me the opportunity to utilize my creative skills.

I am not taking much with me. Just me and my little dog….

The movers are coming at the end of this week (eek!). I hit the road on the 29th.

Of course, I will miss everything about California . Like hanging at the beach…

… and the relaxing weather.

Oklahoma is COLD!! So I am packing ALL of my sweaters…

…. because I definitely want to stay toasty.

Of course, I will miss my family and friends the most and I include all of the great people I’ve met at *Anonymous Company* in that group:

I am sure the holidays will be tough…

… but I do have family in Oklahoma to keep me company! YAY for family ties!!

I am confident everything will work out….

… who knows what the future will hold for me?

You may not even recognize me the next time you see me!

So, here I come, Oklahoma ! Perhaps I will meet a handsome cowboy and finally settle down…

Until we meet again, some words to live by….

Your friend,
Sheila Dilling
p.s. PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye, Apartment 17

2008-09-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

When I moved into this apartment, I gave up a lot of little comforts: no dishwasher, no garbage disposal, no washer and dryer, no central heat & air, and definitely no extra space. Also, the peephole in the front door? Very conveniently located if I had a third eye in between my boobs.

I loved this apartment and it has been my home for the last three years. It has old fashioned radiators and retro tile work. There are built-ins in the kitchen and the closet so everything has it's own place. From the front window, I have watched a variety of parades and an international bike race. Many, many bottles of wine have been emptied here preceding impromptu dance parties and a wrestling match.

But my favorite thing about this place is the afternoon light. It fills the entire apartment with sunshine, giving it the impression that it is always having the best day ever. Thanks, No. 17, you have been great. Sorry about all of the dog hair.

No Kool-Aid was Harmed in the Making of this Blog Post

2008-09-10T17:33:00.000-07:00

1. ok, shall i explain?, 2. El Ciclón Panzón luchador amigurumi face 6.1.2007, 3. Tasty Tom Selleck Cake, 4. the end is nigh, 5. RETRATO - A LA ARCIMBOLDO - PORTRAIT, 6. #Rejected#, 7. The Boxing Club /// Austin.Tejas, 8. you scream, 9. The Great Mustache Debate, 10. chris3, 11. Halloween 2006, 12. It's a look, 13. :{D, 14. Untitled, 15. your face is a..., 16. Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

Yesterday

2008-09-09T23:39:00.000-07:00

As I continue packing boxes, two thoughts pop into my head at the same time. "The dog has to pee" and "I need to call my friend Schaa". I grab a poop bag, the leash, and my phone. The dog and I head down the hallway stairs of my apartment building. Halfway down the stairs, I hear a moan. I look down and see a man collapsed on the floor of the first floor hallway. I scurry down the stairs.

I ask the man if he is okay. I recognize him as the building manager, who I know from sight but have only ever exchanged nods. He struggles to stand. I see a broken pair of glasses and a set of keys on the ground nearby. I ask if he fell down the stairs--should I call 911? He mumbles, but manages to reply in a low voice, "nooooooooooooo". I tell him I do not want to leave him alone until I know he is okay. He appears to me to be very, very inebriated and he can not stand. He also smells of cigarette smoke. The smell is so strong I feel nauseous. I keep my distance. I tell him I want to call 911. He mumbles again, "noooooooooooooooo". Then he stares at me very intently. The look in his eyes is so intense, I immediately feel threatened and intimidated by this man.

The dog whines. She still needs to pee. Reluctantly, I tell him I am going to step outside but will be right back. I walk up and down the block as I hold my cell phone tightly in my hand. When I come back, he is still on the floor. I call 911. I let him know and he becomes agitated. A group of neighbors enter the building. I inform them that I have called an ambulance and that I've been advised to watch the man's breathing, and even if he asks do not give him food or water. The man is drenched in sweat. Within two minutes, the ambulance has arrived. I pick up the broken glasses and keys to get them out of the way. They begin to ask myself and the neighbors questions. We do not know much. I look down at the man's keys. I see a diabetes tag. I show the EMTs. They take the man's belongings and then they are gone.

I can't stop thinking what happened. I should have called 911 sooner. I should have picked up his keys. Why was he so adamant that I not call an ambulance? Is he going to be mad at me? Is he as disappointed in my reaction as I am? As he lay there on the floor, did he sense how much he was scaring me?

I have never been put in a situation like this before. My mind is full of thoughts on how I wish I could get a second chance to do the right thing. At the same time, I hope I never get the opportunity.

Ostrich Syndrome (served chihuahua-terrier style)

2008-09-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

Not everyone in this household is as excited about the big move to Oklahoma as I am:

Turns out, chihuahua-terriers don't like cardboard boxes and packing tape. She also doesn't like squirrels, skateboards, ABBA, the pool, balloons, my singing, celery, alpaca commercials, or riding in the backseat. So, this? Not really shocking.

A Goodbye Wave

2008-09-06T23:38:00.000-07:00

From where I live in Sacramento, I am two hours from Lake Tahoe (snow! skiing! a shinier, cleaner alternative to Reno!), two hours from wine country (vineyards! cuisine! free booze!) and two hours from San Francisco (arts! culture! diversity! streets so steep you question whether you ever DID learn how to properly use your parking brake in Driver's Ed!)

But of course, California is DEFINED by it's magnificent coast. Thanks, Pacific Ocean, you sure do make this state a very special place in which to pay one of the highest costs of living in the nation.

Since I am about to move hundreds of miles from the only ocean I have ever really known, I figured the Pacific deserved a formal and sincere farewell. So my friend Jen and I hit the beach!

We went to Stinson Beach and (here it comes again) it is about 2 hours from Sacramento. Northern California beaches are not the type of beach you see on Baywatch. Notably, there is not an abundance of silicone on NorCal beaches.

But there are often steep cliffs and rocks right up against the shore, so in order to get there you have to climb up and then down some pretty windy and twisty roads. There are lots of pine trees along the coast and their scent mixes with the salty air creating a mix not unlike a really clean taxi (minus the taxi driver) but much, much better. You will find yourself taking the deepest breaths you have ever taken outside of a Cinnabon. The skies usually start off overcast, but the fog burns off during mid-day and once it is gone, the sky turns a vibrant blue and all of a sudden the massive ocean is dwarfed by the endless sky in every direction.

If you wanted to recreate what it's like to stand in the Northern California ocean, stand in your igloo cooler while your pal pours bags of ice on top. Yeah, it stings. But just for a couple seconds. Because then your feet are numb and the roar of the waves have you hypnotized while your feet stay planted firmly in the velvety sand. I have evidence. Here's a little clip of my feet making out with the ocean:

For more pics, check out my flickr set. Then help me figure out how the heck I can pack this up and bring it with me to Oklahoma.

Move Fast Like a Bunny

2008-09-05T01:12:00.001-07:00

My whole life I have wanted a Great Dane. Everytime I have mentioned this aloud, my dad has the same response, "Great Danes have great big poops". My dad should write fortune cookie fortunes.

I have had my eye on this print from Zoe Ingram for some time:

Earlier this week, Zoe announced she is closing her etsy shop due to the ever expanding bun in her oven. So it became very clear, very quickly that I needed to jump at the chance at having these three poopless dogs in my life. My hope is that by the time I have the cha-chingy-ching, she will be back and up and running so I can commission one of her vector portraits.

I also really love the Label series she's done matching hairdos with personality traits.

So, GO NOW, because she is closing up shop TODAY (Scotland time, so pretty much 5 minutes ago).

I Promise I Don't Smell Like Patchoulli

2008-09-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, a good friend told me about a book she was reading that was changing her life. I bought the book mostly out of curiosity (hey, Oprah hadn't endorsed it, so who could blame me?) That book was Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston. Now, WAIT!! I know the title is a little.... iffy. It's a mouthful and the whole Feng Shui thing plays such a small role in this book it hardly warrants a front page mention. Feeling better now?

But brace yourself for more panic when you see the cover, which I believe was designed specifically to hone in on any PMS within a twenty foot radius. You know the type: a glowing candle, a couple of droopy (but vibrant!) flowers, all in very coma-inducing earthy tones. Calling all uteri!! Here is some literature for you and your emotional baggage, insecurities, and out-of-control hormones!! Again, WAIT!!

I read this book... and it did indeed change my life. My family and friends will all tell you how notorious I am for giving away the endings to things (OMG, the plants can, like, think and they are killing people!) So, SPOILER ALERT! I'm going to tell you what I learned from this book. Here it is:

When one holds onto things and never lets them go, at some point there is no room left for new things to come into one's life.

Here is how things developed for me. I had been living in the same apartment, same roommate, same job, with the same boyfriend for quite some time. I started doing the exercises in the book. Slowly I began getting rid of books, clothes, and the dreaded knick-knacks. Then all of sudden it snowballed and I started doing huge purges of STUFF that I hadn't even noticed was in my home! I was addicted to the feeling of making more space for myself. I could finally breathe. I started taking art classes, again. And then I found an apartment downtown. A smaller place, but that was okay because I had less stuff. I was living on my own in the neighborhood I had always wanted to live in. Then I applied for a job within my company doing something completely different than what I had been doing, and I got it. I broke up with the boyfriend in the going-nowhere relationship (a story for another day, dears). I ditched a car that had become a financial drain for something reliable. I adopted a dog.

That was three years ago. While I was packing up for my big move to Oklahoma, I came across this book on my shelf and I grinned as wide as what is appropriate when you live alone with your chihuahua-terrier. I was half tempted to draw lips on the cover so I could make out with this book.

If I hadn't adopted this philosophy, I can't imagine I would be a couple weeks away from moving to a new state to start a new job in a new industry. Thank you, Karen Kingston. There will always be space on my shelf for your book despite what it does to my estrogen levels.

Get Your Hands Dirty

2008-09-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

I live a block from a nice little park here in downtown Sacramento called Fremont Park. Every year there is this fabulous event that takes place over Labor Day weekend and every year I completely miss it. And now that I am moving to Oklahoma it is clear to me that I shall never partake in the wonderment that is Chalk it Up!!

Chalk it Up is a FREE three-day event where you sign up for your own square of cement and you get as dusty as can be drawing your own sidewalk masterpiece. They provide you with the chalk and there is music and food and lots of people and even though I've never participated I am going to go out on a limb and say it's a heaping spoonful of fun.

Now even though I am not present during the spectacle that is Chalk it Up, this location also happens to function as my chihuahua-terrier's potty. So every Tuesday morning after the event whilst trying to walk the dog and scrape the crust out of my eye, I am delighted to see the wonder that has been left behind. And of course, by Tuesday afternoon the commuters have started to walk across the drawings and the city, while supportive of the event, hasn't considered to turn off the sprinklers even for a single day. The drawings start to take on a dreamlike state, a little out of focus, but still vibrant with color.

This art was made to be enjoyed NOW and I guess if you get the chance to see it, that makes you and the image pretty special right at that very moment.

I made a collage of some of the pictures I took this evening. Enjoy:

Everything is okay and OK!

2008-09-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of excitement in the house of sheasy over the last two weeks.

Apologies for the lack of posts, as I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to share my big announcement. And while I have had other posts "in the wings" each of them seem to relate to the big news in some way or another. In a sense, the "news" constipated this blog. And now it's all bloated and it's pants are fitting too tight.

It is clear to me now that no new posts could come until I jumped into the bag and wrestled that cat out with my own two bare hands!! So here's my news:

I am moving from California to Oklahoma!

This move means switching industries (weeeee!) and leaving my friends and family behind (boo hoo). A lot is happening and I'll do my best to share as much of my process as I can. In the meantime, enjoy one of my thrifty niftys!

Below is a vintage souvenir handkerchief featuring the lovely state of Oklahoma:

Much more chic than GoogleMaps, yes?

(Love thrift store scores? More thrifty niftys posted over there on the left.)

Not as Good with Oreos

2008-08-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

Seen while driving on the 101.

Holey Moleys

2008-08-18T21:42:00.001-07:00

Done! - Crafting 365/243, originally uploaded by blockpartypress.

When I was a kid, my parents never trusted me around a pair of scissors or nail clippers or a hole punch. Not because they were afraid that I would hurt myself but because I tended to get carried away very easily by the act of punching or cutting or snipping.

Often times, my dad would open up the newspaper to bunny shaped holes in the articles and basketweaves in the middle of the classifieds.

When I saw this in blockpartypress's flickr photostream, it immediately took me back to turning scrap to fab with just a single but mighty tool. This is far more deliberate than my old newspaper creations and incredibly polished and dreamy. Hold your newspapers close, people.

Painting the Town Orange

2008-08-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to get my toes done. I am tensing up right now just thinking about a stranger rubbing up on my feet and in between my toes. Add to that my exaggerated fear of fungus. My cousin Jennifer on the other hand has immaculate toes and considers pedicure as necessary as flossing and shaving (two more things I am very sporadic about).

While she was here she got her toes "done" and I treated myself to the first manicure I've had in about a year. Jennifer insisted I get something summery since I was leaning toward very neutral shades or deep, deep reds. So, that is how this orange came about:

For my nails this is the equivalent of a fresh haircut and a new pair of shoes rolled into one. In other words, these nails expect some free drinks.

You are it.

2008-08-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

I have been TAGGED by snarkygirl!

So now I am bound by internet law to share seven little facts about me:

1. I never open my eyes under water.
2. I don't like lotion, especially smelly lotion.
3. My earliest career aspiration was to be a lion tamer.
4. Almost all of my boyfriends have been 6'3" or taller.
5. I can't drive stick.
6. Feet gross me out, unless they are my dog's feet, which smell like Fritos.
7. I've lived on the east coast, west coast, midwest, and abroad.

Since I am on a little vacation of sorts, I am skipping the tagging portion of this task, but if you are one of those energetic kids who sit in the front row waving your hand, please leave a comment so the rest of us can learn more about you!

Family Matters

2008-08-13T19:30:00.001-07:00

Sponge Tongue

2008-08-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

My cousins are in town.

This means it's just a matter of minutes before I start referring to you and you and you, as y'all. We won't plan on taking a road trip, we'll be fixin' to hit the road!

Starting today, all dialogue will be spoken at an audible level usually only appropriate at rock concerts or tarmacs. There will be a sound that starts out as laughter but very quickly morphs into a distinct cackling noise. If you are nearby and you hear this sound, you will probably first duck before looking around for the swarm of maniacal turkeys you fear are flying toward your head.

And there will be a lot of talk about gastro-intestinal phenomenon. Accusations will be made and retalatory action will(must!) be taken. People will resort to using their bodily functions for evil-doing, all the while another flock of maniacal turkeys flies overhead.

I will become immediatley aware of the expressions made by an extremely observant 3-year-old, who upon seeing a public bus emphatically announces to the car, "City Bus!!" Because in a week's time after they have gone home, I will shout out to my lone self, "City Bus!!" three or four times each day on my way to work and I will miss them all very, very much. Minus all the farting.

Long Way to Go = Short Time to Get There

2008-08-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

This CB Jargon glass is another great thrift store find. I fell deeply in love with this glass the first time I saw it. As the granddaughter and niece of career truckers, some of the phrases on this glass bring back a handful of road stories I heard as a kid. Not to mention, I feel a little like Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit every time I refer to a Volkswagen as a Pregnant Roller skate.

Walking and Chewing Gum at the same time... not going to happen

2008-08-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

When walking the dog today, I decided to take an alternate route. One which, once doggie had done her business, did not have a trash receptacle in plain sight. This is typical, as I can often be seen wandered downtown with a baggie of dog poo in hand. It's just one of the joys of doggie-parenthood. I like to believe it deters weirdos from approaching me (not to mention anyone else).

This evening as we strolled, I started thinking about what needed to be done tonight, this week, and the next couple of weeks with one eye on the lookout for a trash can. A couple of blocks later, I spotted a receptacle in the distance. I went back to my mental list trying to decide whether to vacuum or fold laundry, check e-mail or eat dinner first. Decisions, decisions.

As I went to dispose of the special package, I stopped as if a hypnotist had snapped his fingers. Said receptacle was not in fact a trash can, but a mailbox.

Ten years of bad karma for crappifying pounds of public mail sitting in a hot, metal box: Successfully avoided.

When Your Boyfriend Makes a Video, Get Involved, mkay?

2008-08-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Natalie Portman in Devendra Banhart's super awesome video:

A Lesson about Flickr and Eddie Murphy

2008-08-01T18:22:00.001-07:00

eddie murphy's giant head on the interstate, originally uploaded by ahhhitshayley.

So some time in early July, I saw this little shot of absurdity on Flickr. I hadn't heard of the movie promoting this, just thought how insane it would be to be following the head of Eddie Murphy on the freeway. I assumed it must be a film prop. Turns out it was actually part of the promotion for the movie, so bleh, it's prop for an advertisement, ewwwww.

I love Flickr. I like to ooh and aah and chuckle at all the ingenuity there is on the site. Sometimes I leave a comment hoping the owner will respond (most people do - doesn't that say a lot about the Flickr community)? I also like to see what things other people say.

Anyway, never have I regretted more leaving a comment on this piece of crazy. Every time I check my comments I've left, this thing pops up. It has over 165 comments with 70-something thousand views. Holy Buckwheat! So for the first time in my Flickr history, I deleted a comment to get this image out of my life. Leave me alone, Eddie!!!

By the way, the comment I felt so important to add to the photo?
"This is going to HAUNT me. EDDIE! What have you done for me lately, EDDIE???!!! "

Consider this your exorcism Mr. Murphy.

Just Call Me Angel in the Morning, baby

2008-07-31T22:44:00.000-07:00

Piper's submittal to 1968 Playboy minus the see-through nightie but with her toy hot dog by her side (you know, for the kitsch factor).

Saturday

2008-07-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

Wake up without an alarm clock
New shampoo smells of a tropical retreat
Swap plain shoes for red flats at the last minute
Arrive late, but at the same time as everyone else for brunch
Mimosas, bacon, and French toast that is custard-like on the inside
Swap updates with a friend with well-deserved good news
See a charming little boy in place of the baby seen a year ago
Choke up, again and again, over Christian the Lion
Pack the cooler for a road trip
Twenty minutes later, not a building in site
Wide open golden fields, farmer stands, winding roads
Stop at a winery where "everybody knows your name"
Outside a flurry of hummingbirds maneuver
Back on the road, across another county line, at the top of the hill
Miles and miles in view from every direction
More wine, hot mystery mustard, squeezing two cases in the trunk
Mad dash to beat closing time at a favorite spot
Branches mist from above, raspberry champagne, a schnauzer
Picnic under a tree, by a glistening pond, five good friends
Cherry tomatoes, goat cheese, salami, crackers, mustard
Cool green grass underfoot
Cat tails: spotted, picked, plucked, and showering fluffiness
Back on the road, stop at a gas station: new sunglasses for everyone
Windows rolled down, singing along to ABBA full blast, chasing the sun
home

Red, Red, Whine

2008-07-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

As part of my cable-induced-coma-weekend, I watched a marathon of Mad Men on AMC - a very layered show chock full of symbolism, smoking, drinking on the job, and endless sexual harassment in the workplace. It's impeccable in how it is true to the year that it takes place, 1960, down to the wardrobe and make-up. The furniture alone had me drooling. (It's really the writing that will get you tangled up in these character's lives in no time).

And now that my eyes are all glossy from soaking up all that TV, I have been obsessed with making my lips as glossy as the fab foxes on the show. I need to find the perfect shade of red lipstick/gloss. I'm not sure how I have made it this far in my adult life without accomplishing this feat. What I am shooting for is something that captures the style of Rachel or Joan or Peggy or the yummiest of all, the perfect Betty.

This has been a lifelong obsession really, only now there is this tremendous amount of urgency that has me believing my limbs are going to start falling off if I do not have perfect, pouty, red lips. I have a drawer full of failed options, many of which are too orange or too matte or too sheer. I bought some "cherrylicious" gloss last night. Behold the product and results on my disappointed lips:

This is not even as red as cherry Chapstick! If any one has tips on how they've found the perfect shade of red OR if you found it and think I ought to give it a try, leave a comment. My naked lips are panting in anticipation.

Oh, sake!

2008-07-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, I made my friend Jen rummage through racks and racks of grimy glassware to find the last piece to thrift store gem:

If YOUR local thrift store is like MY local thrift store then they absolutely will not under any circumstance sell something as an incomplete set. This was marked as a set of four (including the bottle). I could only find two cups (which was fine with me because three's company, Chrissy Snow, so hit the bricks)! Anyway, after 40 minutes of scavenging, at last, the third cup was found. Hurray. Two dollars later and this was mine all mine. I have not yet used it for sake, but my last minute salad dressing never looked so dainty.

We stayed out... 'til ten o'clock

2008-07-21T11:40:00.001-07:00

We stayed out... 'til ten o'clock, originally uploaded by sheasy.

Some recent pics from my flickr faves that put me start humming "Summer Lovin'" without even realizing it.

1. freshly picked, 2. New Pattern DD_26., 3. The beauty of office supplies, 4. She's been busy., 5. little birds, 6. Untitled, 7. starfish picnic totes, 8. Бубамара, 9. pod sections, 10. green lanterns, 11. Freshly Picked, 12. bird & moth serving plate, 13. Crop Circles no. 2, 14. getting the day started, 15. fan, 16. Utopia VIII

My Life as Zombie

2008-07-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

I just made a connection between the term "couch potato" and the fact that a real potato, over time, will grow multiple "eyes". Hellooooooooo!? No wonder TV gluttons aren't called "seat turnips" or "recliner rutabagas". I'm just glad I have finally reached a second-grade-knock-knock-joke level of understanding for common pop culture sayings. Gold star for sheasy!

The reason I mention this is because I am house-sitting........ at a house that has cable.......... which I myself do not have available in my own home. Therefore it is just a matter of time before I myself become a *insert piece of furniture here* + *insert root vegetable of choice here*.

I must say most of the time, I find cable a little tedious. But tonight I hit a three cherry jackpot of TV wonderment! First, I watched the first episode of Project Runway, a highly addictive show I would consider getting cable just to watch. The first episode always spends a lot of time getting to know the contestants which I suppose is necessary, but I wish I could have seen some more time spent on the middle of the pack outfits and less time on the bottom three outfits. I LURVE the winner's dress - true innovation at work.

Then I caught the second half of VH1 Rock Honors - The Who. It made me want to do a jig on the coffee table! I can't think of a band that makes me wish I were a rock star more than The Who. Pearl Jam, Foo Fighter, Flaming Lips, and The Who. Thank you cable, that was a delicious treat.

Lastly, I will recommend something that everyone with internet access probably already knows about since it is such a big hit people keep crashing the site: Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. If TV were more like this show, maybe I would shell out 50 bucks a month to watch it. Here that TV moguls? The people have spoken and they want:
*More musical comedy featuring super heroes
*More Doogie Howser
*More normal girls, less boobs
*Lots of rubber gloves for the cast
*Definitely more Moisture
*And give Joss Whedon lots and lots of money to do whatever he wants

You can watch the webisodes for free for a while, then you'll have to catch it on DVD. The first two acts are up, but the third won't be available until the 19th. So, go NOW!

Eat your Veggies

2008-07-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

From the garden:

Crossed Wires

2008-07-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

I become easily entranced by power lines. They are like enormous reminders to "Look Up!" every once in a while. I took a number of photos of some of the poles and wires in my neighborhood recently. My favorites are below.

I imagine at some point these types of things will become obsolete and tore down since they aren't particularly attractive. The one that runs across the street from my building serves as a little overpass for the neighborhood squirrels crossing the busy street below. Some times they even leap frog over each other.

In the winter, I get some brilliant sunsets outside my bedroom window. I can't imagine this photo looking as electric if it weren't plugged into that power pole. Can you?

Thrifty Art Gift (Pt. 2)

2008-07-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

So last we met, I had come up with a crafty gift by modifying a thrift frame to hold a line drawing I made of an old school pencil sharpener. How happy am I that I came up with such a clever gift or my creative buddy? I mean, I would be ECSTATIC to receive some thrifty art as a gift. Wouldn't you?

Well, happy birthday to me. On the occasion I presented my gift to my friend, she had also given me a gift. And that gift happened to be a piece of thrifty art made by her own hand. So I guess we will start getting our periods at the same time now any day. We're synced!!

Check out her creation:

And it fits in wonderfully into one of my little vignettes I already have hanging on my wall:

Thanks, universe, for all the reciprocated goodness and for all the great friends you've brought my way. I.O.U.

Thrifty Art Gift (Pt. 1)

2008-07-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, I come up with the perfect gift for someone. Such is the case with my friend, Tanya. Here was my criteria: I knew I wanted to make something and not buy it. Check. That something should be made from found or thrift materials. No prob, I got a bit of that. Lastly, the something should be about being ready to create.... and an idea was born!

I had bought a framed seahorse print from the thrift shop a while back. I took it apart and painted the frame a wonderful shade of orange and sealed it with some ModPodge. I made a line drawing of an old school pencil sharpener to fit the frame. It was exactly what I wanted to convey with this gift: a little retro with a message about being prepared for the next wave of inspiration. Here is a before and after:

So, YAY! for taking a print that probably hung across from some one's toilet into something a little more interesting. But this story isn't over!! See the next post for the conclusion to this story. (Don't you love a good suspense tale?)

Barack the Vote!

2008-07-11T12:11:00.000-07:00

I saw this and I found it to be awesome on multiple levels, so I bought it:

I got it from Marco's shop. Twenty-five percent of sales go toward Barack's campaign. So, if this tee speaks to you, get you one. And step aside, Pedro.

Black and Green and Swirly all over

2008-07-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

My friend Jen made this necklace for my birthday. I believe the pendant is some type of... turquoise? I'm embarrassed to admit that I can't identify the stones that make this up (also, I confess, it took me three times to type "turquoise" correctly). Here's the jist: it's black with a dreamy shade of chartreuse throughout. When you hold it in your hand it is smooth and cool to the touch, like a stone. It's unlike anything I own and I love it. Everything about it reminds me of Jen and that makes it all the more special. Thanks, Jen, you are a dear friend.

Having creative, talented, thoughtful and stylish friends is a wonderful thing.

Professor Plum, in the Kitchen, with the Frying Pan

2008-07-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

I promised a plum recipe. And since that promise was made, there has been a second plum attack. This time my friend, Jen, is responsible for supplying POUNDS of good ole fashioned plums ready to be eaten up, yum.

So, I found a Rachel Ray recipe over on the Food Network site that seemed easy enough. When I read the ingredients I thought, "Ray-Ray, you crazy! Putting black pepper in a glaze for fruit"? It turned out delicious and it took less than ten minutes. Also you get 100 fancy points for making this. (Please pardon my lackluster food photography below. It really IS delicious)!

Here are the plums, halved and pitted with a dab of olive oil, before.....

And then about two minutes later, here they are all broken down and gooey:

Of course, I did make a couple switcheroos to the recipe that appears below. First, RR wants you to grill the plums on the stove, which seemed kinda messy to me. So, I cooked the plums in a non-stick pan with a tiny bit of olive oil. Also, turns out I am OUT of vanilla extract, so I substituted with some really good maple syrup. Lastly, I doubled the plums and halved the glaze because I'm just not a saucey kind of girl. Here's the end result:

Delicious! These are sweet and tart and the balsamic glaze is just the right touch to make a warm dessert still taste like summer. Definitely eat these with a scoop of GOOD vanilla ice cream (you know the kind with all the tiny specks of vanilla bean in it). Here's the break down:

Balsamic Glazed Grilled Plums
4 ripe plums, halved and pitted
a small amount of extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp ground black pepper

*Preheat pan to medium-high heat
*Drizzle fruit with a small amount of olive oil (just to keep them from sticking to the pan)
*Cook fruit, about 2-3 minutes
*Pour vinegar in a small pot and heat to medium-high heat
*Bring vinegar to a boil and reduce by half
*In a separate bowl, whisk sugar, lemon juice, and pepper. Whisk in warm vinegar.
*Place fruit on plates with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
*Drizzle with glaze

Also... I never mentioned I signed up for NaBloPoMo for the month of July, which means I aim to post every day this month. Phew! The theme is food, so some of the posts this month may be tastier than others. One thing for sure, ALL of them will be 100% calorie, fat, and sugar-free with no trans fat or preservatives but lots and lots of RIBOFLAVIN.

Worthy of Your Grandma's Tuna ala Funa

2008-07-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

Here's another groovy thrift store find:

Two styles of old-school recipe cards. I love these down to the funky box they come in. These are so precious, I only ever use them when I am passing on a recipe to someone else. Maybe when I get to the very last one, I'll put a special recipe to add to my own recipe box. I included a nice stash in the Contest Prize I put together for my friends over at Create-A-Day and I think my good friend, joonbeam (the winner), will really appreciate them.

And if tattered recipe cards get you feeling all weepy and sentimental and craving some mac and cheese, then go check out this flickr set containing all 242 recipe cards from this guy's mom's recipe box. Many of them are typed..... with a typewriter! Several copies of the cards above make an appearance. It is whimsical (on the recipe for Stuffed Peppers, she writes "Dog Food"), nostalgic (some recipes where provided by his grandmother) and very mysterious (Boiled Frosting?). This is an inheritance you can hold close to your heart (and tummy).

Technical Difficulties -

2008-07-08T09:55:00.001-07:00

Here I am... casting a spell on you.
Originally uploaded by sheiladilling

Apologies to the feed-readers, I am experiencing some technical difficulties and should have this cleared up by the end of today.....

Or at least until my assitant (pictured at right) can gather up some eye of newt, three crow feathers, a teaspoon of celery root, a hair from a pygmy goat and a Slurpee.

Next? Running with Scissors.

2008-07-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, I was running low on dog food for Piper. Miraculously, I kept finding bags of food stashed here or there... in an overnight bag, a different purse, etc. I was saved!

Inevitably, the Dog Food Fairy stopped making deposits and there wasn't a single brown nugget to be found in the place. So what does a responsible dog owner do? Crumble up dog cookies and put those in the bowl, of course.

Piper was ecstatic. I imagine it's the equivalent of a parent feeding their kid ice cream three times a day. I'm the best mom ever! Almost immediately, I started feeling guilty. While technically I WAS feeding her DOG FOOD, I'm not sure if cookies can sustain a chihuahua-terrier for very long. So, I gave myself a very stern scolding. Then I convinced myself to get thee to the supermarket! And then I boiled some chicken and put that in the bowl. So instead of dessert, my kid's been eating lobster for their three squares a day.

Today, I went to change the sheets on my bed. What did I find buried at the end of the bed? A chunk of dog cookie. Then I looked around. Hmph. There's another one over there under the rug. And another one under the sofa. And yet another one in the corner. Either the Dog Food Fairy had returned or the Easter Bunny has been covering his shift. OR... Piper found these cookies so precious that she decided to save them for later and has hidden them all over our home.

Gotcha. I just hauled a 20 pound bag of little brown nuggets up the stairwell. Now, eat your peas!!!

No Lifeguard on Duty

2008-07-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

This is Clyde.

Clyde likes to swim. Or closer to the truth, Clyde is obsessed with swimming. His love for the pool does not, however, make him the type to dive right in. Once a PERSON enters the pool, Clyde will stand by the steps and do a tippy-toe dance as he works up the nerve to get wet. In the meantime, he runs laps around the pool. So while you relax on any variety of flotation device, soaking up the rays and delighting in the occasional breeze, you are circled by a 100 lb. highly enthused beast, whose sole focus is the water that engulfs you. Imagine the African plains, a zebra, and a lion. You get the picture.

But you will not be afraid. You will be too busy giggling. Because in between running laps, Clyde will occasionally stop to dip one paw in the pool, then back out and resume his laps.

One paw on the first step. Lap, lap, lap. Two paws on the first step. Lap, lap, lap. One paw on the second step. Lap, lap, lap. Two paws on the second step. Lap, lap, lap. Rinse and repeat. Until finally, this happens:

But the laps don't stop here. This is only the beginning. Because now Clyde begins his laps IN the pool. And long after everyone has dried off and the swimsuits have been wrung out, someone hopes beyond hope that there are more laps to be had....

(Also, I posted about some unfinished t-shirt totes I finally completed over at Create-a-Day, so go check them out).

Happy Foot of July

2008-07-04T12:22:00.000-07:00

Some red, white and blue (the white is the glare of my fairest of all skin):

And from the hammock:

Happy Birthday, Tanya

2008-07-03T17:27:00.000-07:00

In honor of my friend, Tanya's, birthday I created a Mr. Picasso Head in her likeness:

I got such a kick out of this I showed my friend, Jen. Who in turn did one of me:

I particularly like my eyebrows. And that aqua triangle? That's me talking. 'Cause, yeah, I tend to do that.

So tag, Tanya, you are it. I can't wait to see what Jen will look like once you have run her through the meat grinder. And have an EXCELLENT birthday, even though people are likely to confuse your ear with one of your eyes and all that!!!

(If anyone else is tempted to make a Mr. Picasso Head, I'd love to see them. It's terribly addicting.....)

So, this zucchini walks into a bar...

2008-07-02T21:25:00.000-07:00

This squash came from BEYOND. I mean our garden. Look at it.

**Insert your favorite phallic joke here - come on, you got one. If you claim to be raised in a nunnery, then ask your knucklehead brother. If you are not blessed with a bro, then consult your inappropriate co-worker who always has his hands in his pockets. He'll hook you up real nice.**

This is the fourth such zuke of this size our garden has produced. The cherry tomato has been added to give you a sense of scale.

**Insert your second-favorite phallic joke here. You know, that one that is really only slightly funny, but after a few drinks can get someone to shoot beer out of their nose.**

What does one do with such a vegetable? One eats a lot of freaking squash, that's what. That's why I was ultra-ecstatic to see this recipe for Zucchini Strand Spaghetti posted by Deb over at Smitten Kitchen. I would show you pictures of my end result but clicking over and checking out Deb's pictures is what will really tempt you to try this.

I have many a recipe bookmarked, favorited, and starred from SK, but this recipe has two things going for it. First, I already had all the ingredients in my kitchen/garden. This is a major score since I am not one to stock up on food. (In the event of a nuclear holocaust, I will be rationing canned crab meat and paprika amongst myself and the Chihuahua for eight weeks). Second, I got to use a fancy tool. You might have one of these yourself, if you have attended one of those kitchen "parties" hosted by one of your "friends" and guiltily flipped to the cheapest item in the catalog (no, not the citrus peeler or garlic press - you bought those last time). This recipe will utilize your... **trumpets,**.... Julienne Peeler. **APPLAUSE**

I was able to execute this very easily, which means you can, too. Two things I did a little different: I used whole wheat angel hair instead of spaghetti. And secondly, I took the pan of olive oil off the heat before I added the garlic. I worried I would burn it. The end result is long strands of zucchini mixed in with the pasta. So you stick your fork in and twirl it around and who knows what ends up in your mouth.

**Insert your favorite fellatio joke here. Don't worry. Your mother isn't paying attention. And if she is anything like my mom, she would be damn proud.**

Chains and Links

2008-06-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Took these pictures on a recent walkabout:

And just to get a little creepy, a face in a tree:

And I blogged about my recent Found Art Tuesday Project over on Create-a-Day. The theme for this one was SUN.

A flickr meme

2008-06-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

I am picking up the torch from robayre who posted this cool flickr meme mosaic.

Here's mine.....

1. Sheila--, 2. Yin - yang, 3. IMG_9247, 4. Bygone Era, 5. Conan Backstage, 6. Glitter / Brillo, 7. Snugness*, 8. McCormick Pumpkin Pie Spice Tin, 9. circus girlie with lion, 10. Cookie?, 11. Prepared for Takeoff!, 12. Bzzz.... Bzzzz.... it's a barfly

Here are the questions to the answers above:
1. What is your first name? Sheila
2. What is your favorite food? Avocado
3. Where did you go to high school? Wheatland, California
4. What is your favorite color? Aqua
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Conan O'Brien
6. What is your favorite drink? Wine
7. What is your dream vacation? A cabin in the woods
8. What is your favorite dessert? Pumpkin pie
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Lion tamer
10. What do you love most in life? Right now at this moment... my dog
11. One word to describe you. Laugh.
12. What is your flickr name? sheiladilling

I would love what other great mosaics people come up with, so if you choose to accept this mission.... leave a comment.

Fruits of the Loom, er, Tree

2008-06-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

If I ever own my own property, I want fruit-bearing trees and plenty of room for a garden. While I've been able to get my fix temporarily with the little community garden we got going, I was lucky enough to pick apricots and golden plums from the over-burdened branches of a family friend's backyard.

This is just just a fraction of the fruit we picked:

The apricots are so ripe that you can push the pit out with your fingers and pop them right in your mouth. And they are so sweet that they taste like sherbet or jam. I spread one just by itself onto an english muffin and it as PERFECT.

I had never had a golden plum before. These are a little tangier than good old fashioned plums, but make a great snack. I'm trying to find a recipe that uses A LOT of plums to really emphasis their flavor. I'll post what I find.

In the meantime, I'm trying to think of what I can make out of the multitudes of pits I am collecting. I'm thinking a snazzy anklet or a lanyard, perhaps.

Two Nuns and a Wok

2008-06-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

I acquired an excellent thrift find recently:

I love this retro cookbook! It was written by two nuns who fled war-torn china to Japan where they began teaching cooking lessons in Chinese cuisine. This was first published in the 50's (this copy was printed later in the 60's). What really drew me to this as all of the imaginitive illustrations.

The cow has a bell pepper for a head! Pigs in a Pod! A mushroom beating up on some spinach!! It's not just a chicken, but a pineapple chicken!! Genius!

It's remarkable how colorful it is considering the time that is was published and the printing processes available at the time. AND scanning the recipes, there aren't a lot of references to weird ingredients like say, canned ham (unlike a lot of vintage cookbooks that use Crisco as a main staple). It even gives tips on cooking rice... without a rice cooker. Imagine that. Who knew there was any other way?

This Post Also Makes an Excellent Cozy

2008-06-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

In addition to posting all that is sheasy time, I also contribute to Create-a-Day, a group blog of extremely talented people that make all kinds of STUFF in a manner of different styles and ways. For the most part, if I post something over there, I don't post it here. I'm not sure why I've avoided double posting, maybe I got it in my head that it was cheating. But then today, it hit me. I don't really have a problem with cheating, SO LET'S GET IT ON.

I won't copy whole posts here, but maybe put a link and a picture or something to keep you up to date on my creative notions. We'll call it cross-creative-recyclination. Yeah, it's catching on and it's gonna save the world (first priority: polar bears).

So, my first bit of recycled blogging is my last Found Art Tuesday project:

The longer post is here. This piece was based on the theme WALK and I left it pinned to a bench in the park by my home. I made this from materials in my used office supplies stash. I love the notion that remnants from the source of something that can at times make me feel only slightly more animated than your average zombie can be manipulated in such a way that the end result has the potential to inspire a perfect stranger. That and you know, free materials. SCORE!

Since we are still recycling, check out these pictures I stumbled upon on Flickr the other day: recycled computer monitors converted into planters. Made by changedminer. ME WANT. I might need to bring a bigger purse to work in order to get this project off the ground. I kid, I kid.

Making Out Big Time

2008-06-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

First, let me tell you I have a weird thing about presents. I like to give little lovelies and send them out into the universe and spread the love, but I find that anticipatory feeling that hangs in the air when opening gifts for myself awkward and paralyzing. I'm literally speechless with a frozen grin on my face as I ruffle through tissue and struggle with all of the strategically placed tape. I usually stall by making a big deal about the wrapping, as if asking about here they got it and when and complimenting the wonders of Target can keep me from the inevitable. I don't worry that I won't like the gift, I fret over whether I will be able to convey just HOW touched I am that somebody thought so kindly of me. Typically I ask that people not get me gifts whenever the topic comes up. I'm always overwhelmed and giddy when people who know me better than myself ignore me and get me something extremely thoughtful and beautiful anyway. I get some pretty cool loot.

For instance, here are a couple of items I scored for the recent turning of another year.

My friend Natalie is an amazing shopper. She has a wicked sense of personal style and knows where all the coolest shops are. If you go to dinner with Natalie, strangers will stop you guys, to comment on something Natalie is wearing. She got me this necklace from a boutique she found:

I love it. If you are fashion challenged like me, you need a necklace like this in your wardrobe because it can give the blah-est of outfits just the right punch.

My cousin, Jo (also an excellent shopper), said only this to me, "I already bought your gift, then I saw this and I had to get it for you". It speaks for itself:

This is perfect because I have been building up my tote bag collection enough that I haven't had to use grocery store bags. Go, Planet Earth!

My sister, Andrea, has a blog. And she found this set in the shop of one of her readers. How to describe..... AMAZING? Just look at this:

It's a teapot service from the 50's with a "silver luster". It's just my style, a little retro and modern at the same time with a dash of art deco. If you can believe this it is PORCELAIN! Made in England, of course, because those gents know a little someting about making tea. It's definitely a piece of art and probably won't ever see a spot of tea.

I have a couple more amazing gifts to share, but I will put them in a separate post where I don't spend the first half complaining about getting TRULY AWESOME gifts.

Get to the Source, Woman!

2008-06-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

Overheard at the Public Library:

Visitor: I need a book on fragrance.

Clerk: Do you mean perfume?

Visitor: No fragrance, like where does a scent come from...

Clerk: You mean like your sense of smell?

Visitor: Kinda. My apartment has this really bad smell and I'm trying to figure out what it is.

Clerk: Okaaaaaaay...

Visitor: Sometimes it smells like oranges, but a lot of the time it just smells really bad, like feces.

Clerk: Hmmmm.... let me see what we have...

If only I had my red sparkle capelet with me. Also, this makes me REALLY wish I worked at the library. These people are MY people - the people who are convinced that a book is the best resource for determining the source of a horrid smell permeating their living space. That and they are having free ballroom dance class today. That's it, I'm moving in and I'm bringing my stink with me.

Oh, so that's why there's cake

2008-06-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

This picture captures exactly how I feel about my birthday - which is, "What day is it, again"? I don't know when I started forgetting my own birthday. I LOVE celebrating other people's birthdays, but for some reason mine barely blips on the radar a day before. It's not that I fret about getting old or anything like that. But it's not a day I make sure I'm wearing best undies, either.

On a side note, my dad took this picture. If you were to look through our family photo album you would see endless pictures of my mom and sister and me, walking through doors with blank faces, standing in lines with blank faces, or sleeping with even less than blank faces, trails of drool creeping out of our mouths. My dad is notorious for his "Gotcha!" style photography. Thanks for the memories, dad. It's good to know I have a history of being easily caught off guard and slow to react. Otherwise I might be worried about all that glue I've been sniffing.

By the way, today IS my birthday and thanks friends and family for all the lovely reminders. You all are the best reasons ever to have a birthday.

GazpaJO

2008-06-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

While I was in Arizona, my cousin Jo made some fantastic gazpacho. She refers to it as "power" food since it is chock full of vitamins and healthy natural stuff. All I know is, when I put it in my tummy, my tummy said, "Thank you very much, Jo". I'm posting the recipe below (not sure Jo's source - she is a collector of many fine recipes). The big plus? No stove! So as it gets hotter outside, I'm sure I will be eating more and more of this for lunch or a quick dinner. This is a double batch, so half this and process/blend everything in batches unless you have a large crowd to feed.

Along the same note, the garden is looking great! So when I make my gazpaJO it will be with lots of fresh veggies I helped plant and weed and stuff (you might notice this has a WHOLE lot of ingredients, but trust me every one is worth it). I added more garden pics to my flickr set so check it out, but see what I'm talking about (below)?

GazpaJO:

28 oz. can diced tomatoes (low sodium if available)
3 cups tomato juice (low sodium if available)
2 1/2 cups cucumber, peeled and diced
1 1/2 cups carrots, peeled and diced
3/4 cup red bell pepper, chopped
3/4 cup green bell pepper, chopped
1/2 red onion, chopped
2 shallots
2 garlic cloves
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1 tsp paprika
1/4 cup fresh oregano, chopped
1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp Tabasco

In the blender (or food processor), smooth tomatoes, tomato juice, cucumber, carrots, bell peppers, red onion, shallots, and garlic. Once smooth add red wine vinegar, lemon juice, paprika, fresh herbs, pepper, and Tabasco. Chill before serving. Thanks, JoMama!!

Well, you take the good, you take the bad....

2008-06-07T12:16:00.001-07:00

I've been tagged by Stacy, so here are some weird facts about me.

1. I have one supernatural talent. That is my ability to smell EVERYTHING. If I could figure out how to use this to fight crime, I'd buy some flashy tights and you could start calling me "Super-Sniffy" or maybe "The Nostril Annihilator". I pride myself on describing precisely what I smell..... "Ugh! It smells like a dirty diaper full of boiled cabbage!!!" My least favorite smell, you might wonder? Any place that has a Cinnabon. It's like my Kryptonite.

2. I went to high school with the brother of the girl who was in "The Real Milli Vanilli". Not such a weird fact about me, but being that close to that kind of insanity is something I will hold close to my heart forever and ever. After the scandal, I even got a free tape of The Real Milli Vanilli's album, which I remember as being pretty good. Don't know what happened to that (coaster? wobbly leg fixer?) Assignment: Is The Real Milli Vanilli available on iTunes?

3. I've never opened my eyes under water. I tried. Once as a kid in swimming class, but since then I've been squinting away. NO WANT.

4. I don't like The Sopranos. Nothing personal, I just don't get it.

5. I have keloids, which are raised scars that are kind of pink and "fleshy". From what I understand, they are kind of a mystery of science. When I got appendicitis a couple years ago and the surgeon came in for my consultation, he asked 2 questions regarding my pain and about a dozen questions about my keloids. This is a pretty typical response from most doctors. I got my keloids as a result of having the chicken pox when I was 8. I was pretty self-conscious about them for most of my adolescence, but at some point they became a part of me. The one on my arm used to look like a butterfly shape (keloids stretch out and change shape over time). People would always ask, "Is that a tattoo?" Here it is now (less pink and more stretched):

So, now it's more of a butterfly after it hit a windshield.

6. I lived in Mexico for a month in college, but years later my Spanish is broken at best. I stayed with the sweetest family in Cuernavaca and celebrated the new year and two birthdays with them. They introduced me to homemade paella and pepitas. One of their children had Down's Syndrome and gave the best hugs ever. He also lead every meal with a very hearty, "Salud!" They treated me like family and they barely knew me. I hope to have a home like that some day.

7. In sixth grade, we had to pick nature names. The idea was that you would take the first letter of your name and find an animal or shrub that starts with the same letter. For example, "Sheila Skunk", "Sheila Shellfish", or "Sheila Shrub". Most of the names I came up with did not match my personality. Then I read about the Gila Monster (hee-la monster). It's an orange and black striped lizard with a poisonous bite. I broke the rules and picked "Sheila Monster" as my nature name. My teacher was severely disappointed but the name stuck long after the assignment was over. There are people out there in the world, who if I ran into them today would say, "Sheila Monster!"

I'm tagging the folks on the bottom. I know I'm supposed to do seven, but as you can see above, I don't have a problem tweaking the rules. Speaking of rules (or as I would call them guidelines), here they are:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So, YOU'RE IT, guys!
Sweetcheese
The Sweet Life
LAAngel

The "Three Ps" of Freeloading

2008-06-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

Step 1: Persistence. If you are going to get something for nothing, it's KEY that you be willing to ask for it over and over and over until people forget that they are highly allergic to you. For example, if you show up at the back entrance of an apartment building, stick around for about a year. Eye contact may be avoided. Alternate routes may be taken. Signs may be posted. DO NOT GIVE UP. Remember, you have nothing to lose but everything to gain. FOCUS.

Step 2: Personality. U haz it. People may resist being "freeloaded upon". This is natural. If you sense that someone is avoiding you, then be coy. When you see them drive up, run under their car before they get out, then as they walk away, peer out from under the rear bumper. THIS IS VERY ADORABLE. Trust me. I met my last boyfriend this way. AND Mama didn't lie when she said play hard to get. 'Cause desperation is a very permanent stink. Also, try not to actually stink.

Step 3: Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

On a completely unrelated note: this is a cat in my neighborhood I started calling "Dude". As in, "Dude, get out of my way", "Dude, you can't stay here", "Dude, I am not joking". At some point I started calling him, "Hey, Dude", "Whaddya do today, Dude?" and "Look at yoooooou, Dude"! He is an unofficial tenant and he is the one thing that each neighbor has in common. That and all the lead-based paint.

(By the way, those ARE my legs. I did a twist, drop, and shoot to get this shot. Some of the best pictures I've taken are ones where I stopped, aimed and clicked without looking through the camera. Plus, you can't even tell how stubbly my calves are, so yeah, I'm happy with how this turned out).

(Another side note: I've been TAGGED! So stay tuned for some weird sheasy facts).

Hey internets,

2008-05-21T15:20:00.001-07:00

Dude. We need to go get some coffee or something cause it's been a while. In fact, lets make that a couple of mojitos and while we're at it, we'll ask the bartender if he's got a girlfriend. Some things I've been up to:

Found Art Tuesday: I just finished my second contribution. The concept is to leave a piece of art you have created in a public place for someone to stumble upon. And you do it on Tuesday or whatever day you are not training your chihuahua-terrier how to do the dishes (a far more arduous and longterm goal). Here is my interpretation of this week's theme: CHARM. That's right. CHARM YOUR FOES, YOU CAN DO IT. If that doesn't work than tell your co-workers he has something highly infectious and steals office supplies.

Baby B had a B-Day: My niece, Blythe is one. ONE IN A MILLION.

See? I told you.

Arizona: my cousin, Jo, just moved to the alphabet state and I am headed there this Friday for our annual "Cuzzins" vacation with my sister and my other cousin, Jennifer (below). Consider this a tornado warning Scottsdale. A wild flurry of sassy, cackling, beautiful women who all slightly resemble each other are headed your way AND YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
Worst Case Scenario: If you are playing this survival instincts board game you should know that the proper way to eat a worm is to first, starve it for 24 hours, then squeeze the "dirt" out of it, dry the worm out on a rock and then ground it into a powder. Do NOT listen to your seven-year-old self telling you the best way is to swallow the worm whole even if it based on personal experience. 'Cause ya gonna loooooooozzzzzzz.

Quite Contrary

2008-05-09T10:43:00.001-07:00

Journey
Originally uploaded by sheiladilling

The community garden project is FLOURISHING! Last weekend we weeded and drilled (more later) and watered and shrieked in horror when lo and behold one of our boxes has frakking termites. Imagine you are elbow deep in soil when all of a sudden you realize this: the soil? Is moooooving. You lean in closer because apparently you have horror-movie-like survival instincts (none). And then.. (when I write the screenplay based on my community garden experience, this next scene will have an orchestra of shrieking violins and an extreme close-up) you see hundreds of bulbous, squirmy, moist, transcluscent, white larvae-ish bugs(!) with VISIBLE MANDIBLES. EV-ER-EE-WHERE. A sample taken to the nursery was not met with much concern. Apparently they are after the wood-based mulch and we were assured that they won't hurt the plants. Next question, nursery guy: will yakking my Honey Nut Cheerios all over the place hurt the plants? Let's figure out a way to kill these things dead. Please.

We do have some welcome guests in our garden. Lots and lots of ladybugs. Is there another creature more aptly named? These guys are ever so courteous and by courteous I mean, they keep their chompers to themselves. Thank you, ladies. Please help yourselves to as many of those squiggly things down below as you like. Tea will be served shortly.

Here are some pictures of the progress.

You may notice the squash has taken over. It was decided we needed a fourth box. Lumber was purchased, bags of soil carried, and a drill was yielded to make a cozy little home for the zucchini, so it can raise it's little zucchini babies and then we will EAT THEM UP YUM! Thank you, Jack, for letting each of us have a go at drilling. I want that drill. And in the meantime, yes, my testicles are coming in nicely.

Of course, gardening wouldn't be gardening with a little bit of distraction. We had three canine helpers: Loretta, the pup; Jasmine, the princess; and my little Piper, always playing hall montior to everyone else's activities. It's a dog party, ya'll!! Woot, woot!

Coming Soon!

2008-04-29T13:44:00.001-07:00

Picnic Pins, felt fun
Originally uploaded by sheiladilling

Picnic Pins! This is what I have been working on lately. To be added to the shop this weekend. Have a picnic all day long. No sticky fingers and no ants.

Flat Bridget hogs the remote

2008-04-28T14:52:00.001-07:00

Flat Bridget hogs the remote
Originally uploaded by sheiladilling

I have unexpected company. She is from Iowa and she is visiting California for the first time. Her name is Flat Bridget and it may be obvious, but she is flat. Not flat in the way my sister complained about throughout her teenage years, but flat as in 2-D.

One of the things I have noticed about Flat Bridget is that she is always in a good mood and is quick to offer a smile. For example, this weekend as I struggled with the vaccum cleaner attachments I attempted to use for the very first time in the 10 years since purchasing said vaccuum, which resulted in the expiration of a very fine and repulsive dust forcefully shot out all over my person.... SMILE! Later, I tackled the complicated task of "Eating with Utensils" and I dropped a heaping fork-full of salad on the front of my shirt leaving an oily splotch. Twice... SMILE! Stubbed my toe.... SMILE! Got toothpaste in my eye (again!)... SMILE. SMILE. SMILE.

Thanks, Flat Bridget, for witnessing me in my natural habitat as my less than perfect self and for thinking that that is OK by you. It reminds a clumsy, goofy, messy girl like me that there is a lot to smile about even when you are slightly blinded in your right eye due to toothpaste poisoning.

Also, Flat Bridget, you make a great coaster.

Dear Fellow Potential Jurors,

2008-04-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

*When you share explicit details about your friends and family's dirty laundry, adding it to the public record in the process of avoiding your public duty, you sure do look trustworthy, for sure.
*When you continue to say "coon't" instead of "couldn't", the tips of your fake french manicure simply glimmer.
*When you reach into your purse, how many plastic wrappers are you finding in there? According to my ear, it sounds like a couple hundred. If college lecture halls have taught us nothing, it is that swiftness is key in this situation. In-n-out. And CornNuts? Unforgivable.
*Is "Freaky Friday" the most appropriate movie we could be watching in anticipation of participating in a trial? Disney comedy or not, there is a whole lot of law breaking going on, not to mention La Lohan's arrest record. Just sayin'.
*Hey, a free pen. Oh, lucky day.

No BOSSY for sheasy

2008-04-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

Do you love BOSSY? Because I love BOSSY and BOSSY just stopped in San Francisco on her excellent road trip. And I missed her because well kids, some times things don't work out as planned. But my sister and her husband went and took emu chili and strawberries and chocolate and drank lots of wine in my place. Check out my sister's account and then go see what BOSSY has to say about all of this.

Now even though I wasn't there, in true BOSSY fashion I was in pursuit of finding a solution to my on-going hair issues. My hair issue being that for some time my hair has been a shade that does not occur in nature: not blond, not brunette, not red... maybe tortoise shell? Anyway, thanks to Garnier Nutrisse it is now THIS color:

It is still somewhat blond and brunette and red, but at least now it looks a little more intentional and not as if I am a new breed of woman... the American Brindle Sheasy. Not a pure-breed of course, but easily trainable with minimal shedding.

It only cost me 3 and a half dog treats to get these guys to admit it turned out fabulous. See their reassuring expressions? Woman's best friends, indeed.

Thank you for being a friend

2008-04-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

"The Golden Girls, they're the original Sex and the City."

Wha? Wait a minute....

Blanche = Samantha
Sophia = Miranda
Rose = Charlotte
Bea Arthur's character = Carrie
Stanley = Mr. Big

HA!

Swapping Spit with Celebrities

2008-04-11T22:37:00.000-07:00

A rundown of a recent dream I had (please feel free to interpret):

I arrive at a small party and a mysterious "good friend" is eager to introduce me to one of the other guests - she's positive we would really hit it off. I am skeptical and not really interested but indulge my "good friend" and she guides me to the backyard. It is dark outside and there sitting on the lawn is an old, yellow roller coaster - not the rails, just the cars of the coaster. In the front car, sits Seth Rogen. The "me" at the party is not aware that this person is in movies, so I am not sure if I am "in" a movie or what. His hygiene seems suspicious, like maybe he is clammy? I sit next to him in the roller coaster car, which is uncomfortable as it is made of a very hard, cold steel. There is a safety bar and we pull it closed onto our laps. There is not much room so while we are having our conversation, we speak not facing each other but looking straight ahead. The conversation is pleasant but not overly impressive. After a while, I excuse myself and return to the party.

A couple hours pass and I am about to leave the party. My "good friend" asks if the guy that looks like Seth Rogen is taking me home and I say, "Sure". We leave. We are walking down the street and when I look over the guy no longer looks like Seth Rogen, but Hugh Jackman. He is wearing a leather jacket with the collar up and staring intently at me. I am very creeped out. He leans in to kiss me and I can't avoid him. He starts kissing me. The kiss is the worst kiss I have ever experienced in a dream or real life. He is getting spit all over my face. He tries to be playful and nibble on my lips but he is actually biting them and it pinches. He stops kissing me and looks at me and grins. He is very satisfied with himself. I am speechless. I wake up.

My first thoughts are of indecision: How do I break the news to my good friend, Jen, that her crush is such a lousy kisser? Will she be mad at me and accuse me of lying? Maybe I shouldn't tell her if I am a true friend, but what if she finds out anyway?

Then I remember that we don't know Hugh Jackman, so I switch gears to I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL JEN THAT HUGE ACK-MAN IS A SLOPPY KISSER!!!

Smelly.... but it's natural!!

2008-04-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

My dog has fleas. Okay, maybe just one flea, last week. I killed it and even though I haven't seen another one since, I feel as if they are ON ME but invisible and gathering regularly to re-enact Dancing with the Stars on my body.

In order to soothe the dog (and my not-so-mild paranoia) I found some "natural" spray for dogs that repels and kills things that go "itch" in the night... and in the car... and at your desk at work. The ingredients include a bunch of stuff like peppermint oil and jfksj oil and jlsdfkjlj oil. OK, I didn't look that closely but it was all easily recognizable herby-type things and there was no skull and crossbones on the bottle.... SOLD!

I slightly mist the dog with the spray. Immediately I feel as if someone has stuffed each my nostrils with a tablespoon of a Ben-Gay and Noxzema concoction and sealed them shut with Duct Tape. I sneeze.

The doggy sneezes. The doggy sneezes again. The doggy starts sliding her body across the rug scraping her cheeks as she goes. Doggy does this again. And again. Doggy wants this smell OFF. Doggy slides her body along the mattress. Doggy crawls under the bed back and forth four times. Doggy jumps on couch and attempts to crawl under the couch cushion. Doggy jumps on bed. Doggy rolls around and around on blankets, sheets, and pillows. Doggy crawls under chair. Aaaaaaahhh... doggy is not happy, but doggy is calm.

Two hours later, the apartment smells like a warehouse for hanging Pine-Tree deodorizers. Doggy is staring at me and sighing deeply every 5 minutes. Time to go to bed. I give the doggy a cookie as reward for... um, not freaking out? I crawl in bed. I start to read my book. Doggy continues to stare. Doggy crawls under the pillow upon which I am resting my head. Ignoring doggy.

One hour later, no sleep for me. it's 11:00. Doggy will not sleep. I get up, run the bath, chase doggy all over apartment, plop doggy in bathtub, rub doggy with shampoo, and towel-dry doggy.

Next time: I'm going toxic all the way, baby.

Dear Dude at Starbucks,

2008-04-07T20:15:00.001-07:00

Hello! Um... you are kinda sitting in my spot. Yes, this is a public place. And yes, everyone is welcome here and no, my name is not on that chair. Nonetheless, that is where I sit. Ask Joe, the coffee guy. He likes to look over my shoulder particularly if I am uploading pictures. Joe is a photographer at heart, I am guessing. But he knows this is my table and well you are kinda in the way.

I lurve, lurve, lurve this Starbucks because during the day it is a virtual beehive, but at night it is a haven with nary a soul sipping on a latte. See, this particular Starbucks only has two outlets and my battery only lasts an hour and I got a lot of work to do. The other outlet is by the handicap table and well, I've just never been able to work up the nerve to sit there for fear of getting an evil staredown by someone for which that station is designed. It is tempting, but I imagine the anxiety alone would have me checking the door every 2 minutes waiting in anticipation of the moment I am officially a dirtbag. If it makes you feel any better, I never use the handicapped stall in the restroom, either, for the same reason.

So, right now, I am waiting not so patiently. Because I know from experience that in a matter of moments the soothing sounds of Paul Simon will put you right where I want you. Your eyelids are getting heavy.... you are nodding off... you are gently pushed across the store whilst in your chair only to awaken in the nice seat next to the newspaper rack. Sweet dreams, cowboy.

Biding my time,

-sheasy

Dear Gardening Night Gals,

2008-04-07T20:03:00.000-07:00

Oh what a lovely time we are having! Every Thursday, getting to gether to check the progress on our little projects. Besides the spattering of leaf nibbles, so far our little babies are looking good.

The best part? Ten minutes of gardening leaves about 2 and a half hours of laughing and drinking wine and feasting on this kind of loveliness.

(Click on any of these for Flickr notes, if you are wondering what the heck any of this stuff is. Cause what it is, is delicious).

At this rate, we'll be dominating the county fair come summertime.

Sunshine and blossoms,

-sheasy

Dear NaBloPoMo,

2008-04-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

I've gone and done you wrong, grrrrl.

Remember March? A post for every day. Commitment, I gots it.

I know I've been neglecting you so far this month, but baby, I'm determined to make things right between us. Get ready for a posting marathon 'cause I'm about to rock your world with all the posts I'm about to put out there... ALL IN ONE DAY. That's right. Anything for my pookie.

I know it's a bit like skipping out on flossing until two days before you see the dentist, but please know that THIS flossing comes from the bottom of my heart.

Still brushing twice a day,

-sheasy

Dear Spider, who sat on my shoulder until I swatted you and you shot up toward my ear canal resulting in my ballerina-like freak out

2008-04-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

YOU CREEP ME OUT.

Until next time,

Sheila

Things I would rather buy with $3.87 instead of a gallon of gas

2008-03-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

*Some wire for my jaw, which dropped to the floor as I filled up this morning
*2 loads of laundry at Suds City
*The 3 taco combo at Taco Bell (Free hot sauce!)
*3 Quick Pick Lottery tickets
*6 Press-a-Penny souvenirs
*18 songs of my choice on the jukebox at Mel’s Diner
(Any ditties about how cool the bus is on there?)
*3 Extra Large Slurpees (Treat your friends!)
*5 games of Ms. Pac Man, 5 games of Frogger, and 5 games of Centipede
*A deluxe box of snacks for my buddy
*Q-Tips

An offer you can't refuse (unless you switch channels)

2008-03-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

Last night, I watched a Godfather marathon while working on a craft project. Mafia-style violence can really get a girl in touch with her creative side, and I wielded my circle cutter as if it were an ergonomically correct piece of piano wire.

Unfortunately, the movies aired on a station that is not completely commercial-free. Even better, every break was the same commercial every time. EXTENZ. Sandwiching a drug for penis enlargement within 6 hours of the Godfather?

Someone in marketing got a major bonus for this one....

Saturday Soundtrack

2008-03-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

I must be worried that the rhythm is gonna get me 'cause I downloaded a gaggle of random songs today. I recommend any of these if you are in the mood to sing a long at the top of your lungs.

Here's a list:

"Sorrow", Bad Religion, 2002
Whenever this song comes on the radio in the car, I pretend I am performing this in front of a crowd of thousands in the hot sun and they become moved by the power of my voice and start chanting with me. My at home performance of the song seems to send the chihuahua-terrier burrowing under the blankets. Obviously, she is overwhelmed with emotion, too.
Favorite Line: "And there will be... SOOORROOOOOOW, NOOOO MOOOOOORE!"

"Comfort Eagle", Cake, 2001
Once upon a time, a Sacramento girl saw a Sacramento band in Sacramento and turned into a forever fan. Cake is known for their absurd lyrics, wacky use of percussion, and John McCree's talky-talk lyric delivery. No singing? Perfect accompaniment for the tone def!
Favorite Line: "Some people drink Pepsi. Some people drink Coke. The wacky morning DJ says democracy's a joke"

"Take the Skinheads Bowling", Camper Van Beethoven, 1985
Is ever a more profound sentiment been put into song? I don't think so.
Favorite Line: "There's not a line that goes here that rhymes with anything"

"Punk Rock Girl", Dead Milkmen, 1988
David always sings this song in reference to my friend, Rachel, probably because she is the only person he knows personally that has several tattoos, none of which she makes any attempt to conceal, even on special occasions. All of these lyrics make for fun singing.
Favorite Line: "We ordered some hot tea, the waitress said well no, we only have it iced, so we jumped up on the table and shouted Anarchy!"

"Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On", Mel McDaniels
I couldn't find the year this came out, but I know I was a wee lass. If you've never two-stepped, this old-school country song has the power to get you out on the dance floor to try your best. I speak from experience.
Favorite Line: "It just comes naturalleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, and aww the girl can't help it"

"Valerie" Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse, 2007
So I am hooked on this season's Dancing with the Stars and Mario danced his first dance to this song. Get better, Amy. The world needs you to sing more songs like this. Now sing something Adam Corolla can dance to - he needs the extra points.
Favorite Line: With her voice, it doesn't matter, it is all perfection.

Art plus Accessories = Style minus Effort

2008-03-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

Look what just arrived! I wore this bamboo pendant featuring the brilliant photography of Tiffany Teske yesterday. It radiates SPRING, so if you are living in one of those places that still has snow on the ground and you are wearing your winter coat every day, try on one of these - you will be gazing longingly at it all day (and you won't be the only one, I got endless compliments throughout the day). Here it is framed by one of my favorite Mr. Roger's sweaters, the one with the over sized buttons.

Tiffany handmakes the pendants and they showcase her amazing photography. She's travelled all over the world and her portfolio has something for everyone. Do you long for international culture? Check. Do you marvel at nature? Check. Does the human form never cease to amaze you? Check. Did you have a tire swing as a child and are yearning to point your feet straight up to the sky again? Yeah. She's got that, too.

Now go check it out for yourself:

The sheasy way

2008-03-27T17:34:00.000-07:00

This morning I only hit the snooze button two times before getting up instead of three. Although I haven't gotten to the part of The Artist's Way that has asked me to starting waking up an additional 30 minutes early, I figure I ought to ease into it. That means... that this morning I had a whole extra TEN MINUTES! WHAT did I do with this extra cushion of time? Did I:

a.) Zone out like a zombie in the shower washing the same parts over and over again once out from under the pressure of only having 5 minutes to get clean?

b.) Blow dry my hair until it was completely dry only to discover the when my hair is completely dry I resemble a chow-chow.

c.) Search everywhere for my black shoes becoming convinced that my size 15 boyfriend must have taken them from me and why would he do that, only to search the pile of laundry in the closet a third time deciding to dig just a little deeper until I found the left shoe, then spending the same amount of time looking for the right shoe only to discover it is at the far end of the closet where my chihuahua-terrier likes to sleep while I am at work.

d.) All of the above, leaving for work 15 minutes late.